So We Can Glow - Stories - Leesa Cross-Smith Page 0,55

because I was adorning myself the same way the birds did. Male bowerbirds decorate their nests with trinkets all the same color to impress their mate. My dress was blue, my jewelry too—turquoise thunderbird earrings and a bracelet to match, some crystal-blue rings. I poured the wine from a blue bottle into a blue glass. I’d turned on Joni Mitchell’s Blue album before he got there. “Carey” was coming so soft and low from the speakers we could barely hear it. I put blue corn chips and blueberries on a bright blue plate for him.

“There aren’t many naturally blue foods,” I said.

“I’m not very hungry, so this is fine. Impressive, actually.”

“I’m a bowerbird.”

“Oh, I see,” he said, nodding. His voice, flashlight-bright.

I asked him the scientific name for bowerbird. He said Ptilonorhynchidae and it felt like a kiss. I crossed my legs, squeezed my thighs together.

“It’s okay if you think I’m crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“But it’s totally okay if you do,” I said.

“Well, I don’t.”

I told him he couldn’t leave until the morning because we were crepuscular, remember? Since he came over at dusk, he couldn’t leave until dawn. I told him nothing had to happen. It was okay if it did, but it didn’t have to. I told him men were lucky because they didn’t have to be scared when a woman got obsessed with them and looked up where they lived and invited them to their house. Men didn’t have to be afraid of women the same way women had to be afraid of men.

“I understand. But you invited me over here and you weren’t afraid of me,” he said.

“No, but I watch you on TV every night. It’s different,” I said, smacking more wine into our glasses.

I told him he could sleep on the couch if he wanted. I told him I had a blue blanket.

“And there’s something else I want,” I said.

“Okay,” he said. And I loved that he didn’t ask what it was, he just said okay. Joni Mitchell was still singing because the album was on repeat and Abe and I were drinking and drinking wine, eating and eating chips and berries.

“I want you to talk about me like I’m one of the animals. Y’know…follow me around and talk about what I’m doing,” I said.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and at first I thought maybe he was calling the police because he was convinced I was a complete maniac, but he held up his phone to record a video, and said okay go.

I picked up the empty blue plate and walked to put it in the sink. I ran some water over it.

“Look. The female bird is cleaning her nest. She is a rare Lacey bird only seen in the western part of the state,” Abe said, using his deep documentary narration voice.

My face was hot, my eyes watered. I took my hair down.

“It seems as though she is finished hunting for the night. She’s fluffing herself,” he said, smiling at me.

I undid my belt. The big horned buckle thunked to the kitchen floor. I looked down, let my hair fall and cover one of my eyes.

“No, wait! Maybe she is still hunting…looking for a mate. If there are any male birds in the area she will know it very soon,” Abe said. He aimed his phone with one hand and leaned against the doorway, stuck his free thumb through his belt loop. He whistled—four snappy, high chirps. I fluffed and fluffed.

Stay and Stay and Stay

HOTEL INFORMATION:

Goldenrod Inn & Suites

1616 Ridge Pkwy

Lexington, Kentucky 40503

TRAVEL INFORMATION:

Arrival: Thursday, August 8

Departure: Friday, August 9

Number of Nights: 1

1 Room(s)

2 Adult(s) per room

ROOM INFORMATION:

Room 1 Confirmation Number: 89483028

Guest: You & _____

2-Room Suite with 1 King Bed Nonsmoking (NKS): This deluxe nonsmoking two-room suite features plenty of room for you and your high school biology teacher, Coach Cahill. He’s still ten years older, but not twenty-seven to your seventeen—thirty-nine to your twenty-nine. It was winter when you saw him lonely and broken at the bar, like a sturdy table with nicks, now on clearance. Asked him if he’d gotten into a fight with his wife and he didn’t answer. You bourbon-and-Christmas-kissed in your car. On the ride home he confessed he’d worn a rubber band around his wrist when you were in high school, snapped it when he thought about you. Bruised and red-sliced his skin for sin. You wanted to lose your virginity to Leonardo DiCaprio until you saw Coach Cahill, then you told your best friend