to hear it, but he’d opened every other part of himself to me. I’d repaid him with doubt, forcing him to explain and defend past relationships. Forcing him to prove his worthiness to lease Miss Mary’s place. I hadn’t even told my parents about him, so why should he bring me home to his?
I hadn’t given Miles any reason to stay, but he had.
He had a dozen reasons to leave, but he hadn’t.
Miles Crowe is the goods.
Suddenly, I couldn’t fumble my phone into my hands fast enough. I owed him an apology. We’d figure this out in a few days when he got past the grand opening, but I couldn’t leave him thinking I wanted to walk away.
I’d learn how to deal with new notoriety. We’d figure this out.
He answered on the third ring. “Ellie. Hey.”
His voice was subdued, and my heart gave a hard twist. I had done this to him. “Miles, hey. How’s everything going over there?”
He sighed. “It’s chaos, but it was like this before all my tours too, and it will work out. I’m choosing to believe it’ll work out before opening tomorrow.”
I could hear the stress in his voice, so I tried to wedge as much positivity as I could in mine. “It’s going to be great.”
“I hope so.” But he sounded subdued. “Hey, look, I’m really sorry about the interview. I called and asked her not to run that part, but she did anyway.”
I digested that. “I didn’t see it. My mom decided Channel Five doesn’t exist in her house anymore.”
“Right.”
We both fell silent, and I didn’t know how to segue into the next thing I needed to say. There was no smooth transition. I cleared my throat and jumped in. “I’m sorry I freaked out about it. I shouldn’t have accused you of setting me up.”
“I would never do that to you.”
I could hear the hurt.
“I should never have said that. I was thinking after the opening, we can talk this all out. I know it’s crazy right now, but I didn’t want to add to your stress thinking that we were breaking up or something.”
“We aren’t?” He sounded confused.
“Of course not. It was a fight. We’ll figure it out.”
A long pause. “Will we?” he asked softly. “I’m not so sure. The reality of my life is not going to change for a long time. I can’t do anything about it.”
“I know. But I’ll figure out how to live with it.”
An even longer silence.
“Miles?”
He cleared his throat. “I don’t know, Ellie. One thing you learn after being in this industry long enough is that if you have even two people you can count on to ride out the crazy with you, you’ve got a hundred percent more support than most people. And if you count on the wrong people, you get burned.
“Sometimes it’s because they’re self-interested people. Like Aaron. He wasn’t always like this, but I finally had to accept that he’s changed. I can’t count on him anymore. Sometimes it’s because life in the spotlight is too much for people, and it’s not fair to expect them to deal with it. Like you. So I thought I had three people, but I guess I just have Anneke. And one is still more than most people have, so maybe I’m still lucky after all.”
I hated hearing the words. Every single one burned. I hated not being counted as one of his people. I hated the exhaustion in his voice. “Miles, I know this was a bad moment for me to have a breakdown or whatever, but I’ve had some sleep and some advice and now I have clarity. Let’s talk about this on Monday, when you’re through opening weekend.”
He gave a soft sigh. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve lived fifty years instead of twenty-eight. But the upside is that it helps you figure people out sooner than later. You are all the good things, Ellie. But I’ll never be good for you. Take care of yourself, okay?”
“Miles—”
“I can’t,” he said. “I need to go. See you around some time.”
The call went the kind of quiet that meant he was gone.
I called him back immediately, but he sent me to voicemail. “No, no, no,” I murmured, dialing again. “I need you to pick up. Come on, Miles.” But I got voicemail again.
I got up and paced, trying a few more times. Nothing.
I stared down at my phone. He wasn’t going to pick up. What should I do? Drive over there?