The Snow Prince - Raleigh Ruebins Page 0,33

ride began to slow and people at the bottom started to get off.

“I want that too,” Henry said. “But I don’t want to be anyone’s dirty secret. It isn’t how I live my life.”

He was right. My life had become a parade of endless secrets, small and large alike.

“I’m not trying to make you one of my secrets,” I said. “Never. I just need to be next to you tonight.”

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath. I felt like he was watching me as if I was a poisonous snake he had to step carefully around. “I knew we shouldn’t have kissed. I’m an idiot. I couldn’t stop myself.”

“I’m glad you didn’t stop yourself.”

“It was supposed to be just a kiss.”

“If you don’t want more, you just have to say the word,” I said.

“Of course I want it,” he said, shaking his head. “I want to believe you.”

“I’m going to do everything in my power to never hurt you again,” I said. “So please believe me.”

He was silent for what felt like years. My heart started to pound as I realized we were nearing the bottom of the Ferris wheel, and we’d have to get off soon. Right when I thought I would explode, he finally spoke.

“I don’t,” he finally said, his voice barely audible.

“What?” I whispered.

He swallowed, and I watched as his eyes cast down and then back up at me again, so full of pain. Like he was trying not to cry. Or maybe like he couldn’t cry, even though he badly needed to.

“I don’t think I do believe you, Sebastian.”

My heart cratered inside me.

He had no reason to. I couldn’t blame him, and I couldn’t disagree. I wasn’t trustworthy. Not to him, not anymore.

I felt like I was under murky water. Henry was quiet for the next few minutes as we got off the Ferris wheel, his lips tight. The others surrounded us again, Emma and Xavier and Genoveve chatting happily about how beautiful it was on top of the wheel, while Henry and I remained silent.

Henry said his quiet goodbyes soon after. And then he barely looked at me before he walked away.

7

Henry

“I’m starting with the yards,” I said, grabbing the cheap coffee mug in front of me and loading the dark liquid with cream and sugar. “I’m going to sand and stain the fences. Repair the hole at the left side of the backyard. Tons of weeding to do, of course. And then I can get started on painting the exterior trim, and replacing the gutters. I should probably also start on the guest bathroom, the pink wallpaper needs to go—”

Tracy reached over from the opposite side of the small diner booth, gripping my forearm. “Honey. Relax.”

I took a deep breath.

Tracy and I had only been in the Berrydale Diner for about three minutes, and already I was steamrolling the conversation, going on and on about my plans to fix up Mom’s house. It was past one-thirty in the afternoon, and most of the lunch crowd was gone. An elderly couple was sitting in another one of the blue fake leather booths, across the way, and a group of kids was dominating the corner by the windows.

But other than that, it was just me and Tracy and the waiters in here.

I realized I’d been bouncing my knee beneath the table, and I pressed my shoe to the ground, trying to force myself to stop.

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m just trying to stay focused. On the renovation.”

“Is that why you’re out to lunch with me instead of any of your actual friends?”

“You’re my friend,” I protested.

She gave me a half smile. “I was your mom’s divorce lawyer twenty years ago, and I was your estate lawyer recently.”

“Yeah,” I said feebly.

“I am glad you think of me as a friend, Henry.”

I let out a sigh. “I don’t have any friends, to be honest.”

“I guess you have been gone from town for a long while now.”

I nodded. “And even when I did live here, Sebastian was really my one best friend.”

She watched me close when I said his name. I felt like it was so obvious that I was full of feelings when I even mentioned him, like suddenly I was transparent, and everyone could tell how much he meant to me.

Even though I didn’t want him to.

I changed the subject fast.

“I had friends on the mountain, believe it or not.”

“Human friends?” she asked, the grin returning. “Or hummingbirds and bears?”

I puffed out a laugh. “See? You are my true