The Snow Prince - Raleigh Ruebins Page 0,31

at the castle—my home that never felt like home.

“I have no other option but to care,” I said. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about abdicating? About leaving, running away completely, without a trace? I could do it, Henry. Live the renegade life.”

He gave me a hard stare. “As someone who has lived the off-the-grid, loner life, believe me when I say it isn’t as nice as you might think.”

“It isn’t even about that. Even if I didn’t run away completely… I would have nowhere to go. No access to any money without the castle. I have no one outside of that place, Henry. My entire life, my entire family, everyone who cares about me is in there.”

“I understand that,” he said.

“And I don’t hate every aspect of it,” I said.

Henry let out a quick laugh. “Oh, if fifteen-year-old Sebastian could hear you say that, he’d punch you in the face.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “I know. I hated every single thing about being a prince back then. Now, I’d say I only hate half of it.”

“Well, that’s incredible progress, at least,” Henry said.

“The handcuffs are definitely made of diamonds and gold,” I said. “But they’re still… handcuffs. Tied to the most beautiful jail cell I could imagine.”

Henry was quiet for a while. The sounds of the fairgrounds floated up, the music and chatter and winter merriment of everyone below. It all seemed so simple here in Berrydale. Everything seemed so easy.

“You want to know something?” Henry said quietly, his voice breaking the silence.

“Hmm?”

“I think you’re just scared,” he said simply. “None of the restrictions on you are as tight as you think they are. You’re afraid, like you’ve always been afraid, when it comes to this stuff.”

I glared at him. “Did you come on this Ferris wheel with me to tell me that? To call me a coward?”

His expression was gentle. “I don’t mean it like that, and you know it.”

I shifted in my seat as it gently rocked back and forth, looking out at the fairgrounds and then back at him.

“I’m a lot more scared of you, you know,” I said.

He puffed out a laugh. “Scared of me, huh?”

“Of course,” I said.

“I know I spent many years in the wilderness, Sebastian, but I assure you, you have nothing to be scared of—”

“How am I supposed to feel?” I blurted out. “I’m twenty-six. I’m a prince. I’m set to marry a princess—an incredible, down-to-earth, smart, funny, and gorgeous princess—but still the only thing I want is you?”

I could feel my heart pounding in my throat as the words spilled out of me.

Henry’s eyes searched my face, and for once, he didn’t seem like he knew what to say.

“Don’t act so surprised,” I breathed, looking back down at the town below. “You know I wanted to fuck you. And I know you wanted it too. And it was easier to deal with that nagging feeling when you weren’t… around. But now that I’ve seen you again? It’s impossible, Henry. God, the idea of you is the only thing I’ve made myself come to in the last ten years. Every time, I think about you.”

Henry swallowed, his lips parting. “Christ,” he whispered.

“I know,” I said. “It’s bad. It’s awful.”

“I didn’t say that,” he clarified.

“Maybe you should have.”

“Well,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You could have come with me if you’d showed up in that guest room.”

“Jesus, don’t say that, Henry.”

“Why not?” he said, lifting an eyebrow. “Don’t you ever think about how things would be if we’d both just… been able to stay in Berrydale? Together?”

I couldn’t meet his eyes. I looked off into the distance, focusing on the castle. “I try not to think about that.”

“Why not?”

I let out a sigh. “Because I wanted that more than anything, and it was the one thing I couldn’t have.”

Henry let out a stiff laugh that made me jump slightly in place. “Really?” he said.

I looked at him. I couldn’t even pretend to fight it at this point. I felt like when Henry was this close to me, all of the scaffolding inside me shifted. I was the same person, but a different version.

Henry cut through all of the bullshit.

“Yes,” I said finally. “You know what I really wanted? I wanted to be your simple house husband. Cook you dinner. Rub your back. Blow you every night when you got home from work.”

A small smile appeared on Henry’s face, but his eyes still looked pained.

“Instead I’m a prince,” I said, shaking