Snark and Circumstance (Novella) - By Stephanie Wardrop Page 0,10

but I am feeling so foolish and worried and so out of my depth with these people that I fear I might drown on dry land.

Michael’s eyes narrow to ebony slits and Darien and Willow gape at me, then smile smugly as he speaks.

“You’ve got this town and everyone in it all figured out, don’t you, Georgia? How clever of you.”

I brave a look up from the pot of orange mums I’ve focused on to find the three of them standing there like they’re carved in stone, three figures holding up some ancient Temple of Major Disapproval. Then I grab my bag from under an Adirondack chair and say, “It was simple enough, believe me,” as I stomp away. Everyone is watching me—Michael, Willow, and Darien, who clearly never wanted me there in the first place—and even the hacky-sack players seem to have taken a break to watch me spontaneously combust in front of them.

I practically break the land-speed record getting out of the Harpers’ driveway, but at least the tears don’t come while they can still see me.

When I get home, I’m glad my mom and dad are out so they won’t ask any questions about why I am home so early, and alone. Tori gets in late and wakes me up as she comes in, sporting a smile and a boot brace on her foot. She tells me she and Trey went for pizza after the doctors had declared the injury a sprain. Then Trey had taken her home, practically carrying her up onto the porch where he kissed her goodnight. I’m sure the moon shone brighter and music swelled in the background as he drove away.

Tori had managed to fall almost literally into the arms of her Prince Charming—and she hadn’t had to sacrifice a shoe in the process.

I am pretty sure, however, that Willow and her friends will not be as happy for them as I am.

And I am even more convinced that Michael loathes me with the quiet kind of intensity you can feel even if you don’t see it. Because in one evening I managed not only to threaten to ruin his lab grade but to insult his father, whom I have obviously never met and is probably a decent person if he does charity work, as well as the town his ancestors wrested from the wilderness. I failed miserably at my attempt to fit in as an even tolerable party guest, and I bombed big time as a psychological clinician.

But at least Michael remained easy enough to diagnose: narcissistic personality disorder with delusions of grandeur.

Textbook case.

I’m in no hurry to see him again, that’s certain.

Which is why I drop my groceries when he walks into my kitchen the next day.

Chapter 4: Nobody Likes the Wife of Bath

The next day, I go to the grocery store myself, which I discover actually has a decent amount of tofu on the shelves and a whole “natural foods” section. So my mom has been holding out on me for a year now, claiming there was no veggie food available except at distant health-food stores, waging some kind of war of attrition, thinking she could starve me into submission. When I get home, planning to veganize her spaghetti-sauce recipe to show everyone that you don’t need crumbled dead cow flesh to make it tasty, I am shocked to find Michael Endicott strolling into my kitchen through the door I had left open for one of the cats. So shocked that I drop the groceries I am putting away. I look like a character from a bad sitcom.

“Hi, Georgia,” he says from the doorway. “I, uh, came to see if Tori is okay.”

“Well, she and Trey are in the den.” I know I should be decent enough to turn around and face him, but I’m still embarrassed, so I act like it is extremely important that I pick up these groceries before the earth opens up and swallows them.

“Oh, Trey is here?” Michael asks as he bends down and picks up some of the stuff that fell out of the canvas bag.

“Yeah . . . Well, I’m sure you can see that Tori’s fine . . .” I say as I reach up to put some rice noodles into the cupboard, expecting him to recognize that this is his cue to go.

He doesn’t.

“‘Gimme Lean Soy Crumbles,’” he reads and the distaste is so evident in his voice that I ignore him. Honestly, you would think I had brought in