Snake Heart (Chains of Honor #2) -Lindsay Buroker Page 0,63

years?”

He sensed that she did not want to discuss it, but he couldn’t keep from saying, “I’d like to know. Father never spoke of it. Of you. And I don’t remember anything. Falcon remembers a bit, but...” He shrugged helplessly.

Pey Lu looked toward the porthole. “You know I was a warrior mage and an officer in the military long before you were born. I loved the war. You’re not supposed to love war, but I loved the challenge of pitting myself against others. Wizards, warriors, anyone. I liked finding ways to win, even when the odds were against us. And then the war ended. I was in the army, and we still practiced and drilled, but it wasn’t the same. It was a game, not the real thing. There weren’t lives at stake. I didn’t know what to do with myself. And then I got that letter from my father.” Her mouth twisted in an expression of distaste.

“Your father?” Yanko did not know her side of the family as well as his father’s. Many of them had moved out of the province after she had left, dishonored and distrusted, the same as the White Foxes.

“A young man I’d served with in the war approached him and asked to marry me. I barely remembered him. He was one of many officers that I met during those years. I served on many ships, being transferred to the front lines, to wherever they needed me most.”

“My father,” Yanko said quietly.

It had been an arranged marriage? He hadn’t realized that. He shouldn’t be surprised, as it was common among moksu families, but Father had never mentioned it, at least not in his hearing.

“Yes. My own father was proud of me but had this notion that women were supposed to settle down and make babies, not hurl fireballs at enemies. With the war over, he agreed to arrange the marriage. He believed we would be a good fit, based largely on the White Fox clan name rather than any real knowledge of your father, I later learned.” There was that twist to her mouth again.

“I think Father adored you,” Yanko said, feeling that should somehow have helped.

“I had a lot of adoring admirers.” She looked away from the porthole and back at him. “That happens when you become a war hero. It might happen if you succeed in wresting that lodestone away from me and dumping it in the Great Chief’s lap.” Her eyes narrowed, a warning in the expression, a warning that she had no intention of letting that happen, and that she was speaking in the hypothetical. “You would have adoring admirers that want to marry you too.”

“That would be... unprecedented.”

She snorted. “Give it time. You’re a handsome boy.”

Yanko resisted the urge to rub his chin, with a few nascent hairs poking through after a couple of days without shaving. He wished it would happen with Arayevo, but he didn’t know if honor and fame would be enough to make her want to choose him over the sea.

“So you never wanted to be there?” he asked.

“No. For my parents’ sake, I gave it a try, but I was restless, and I was—let’s be frank—a horrible mother. Patience isn’t one of my virtues, and back then, my temper was even shorter. Babies are rather fragile, you know. You’re not supposed to get frustrated when they’re crying all night and lash out at them.”

Yanko stared, not knowing what to say. As with the lecture on magic, she spoke matter-of-factly, and he couldn’t tell if any old pain or regret lay beneath the words.

She did lower her voice when she continued. “Trust me, whatever you think, you were better off without me around. You would have hated me, and I’d already come to resent—” She shrugged and spread a hand, palm up.

“Me?”

“You boys, your father. My father. I figured it was better to leave before something happened—before I did something that would be even more inexcusable than becoming a pirate.” The wry twist to her lips suggested she knew exactly how inexcusable their people found that. “I doubt many would have even cared about that if I hadn’t ended up being rather good at it.”

“Good?” He almost choked on the word. “You’ve killed hundreds. Thousands? How many ships have you sunk?”

“Many. As many Turgonian craft as Nurian. Our people should thank me for that. It’s always been the challenge that’s appealed, not the booty, and Turgonians field cleverer strategists on their military vessels. Our people rely