Surely I had known, often enough, on my former world, despite its commands and injunctions, from my casual, unguarded thoughts, from my fantasies, and my dreams, from my longings, from my dispositions, hopes, and needs, from my yearnings, from what I had wanted from men, their force and ownership, from how I had wanted to submit myself, wholly, from my desire to be ruled by a master, to belong to him, and serve him, a vulnerable, helpless, unquestioning chattel, that I was, at least in my heart, a slave.
Now I was kneeling, my thigh marked, my throat enclasped in the collar.
“You had a name, did you not, on your barbarian world?”
“Yes, Master,” I said.
“What was it?” he asked.
“Margaret Alyssa Cameron,” I said.
“‘Mar-gar-ret-a-liss-a-cam-er-ron’,” he said, slowly.
I thought it well to remain silent. Actually I did not think he had done badly. I was not sure I could repeat, or easily repeat, for example, a series of nine meaningless noises.
“Barbarian names are often complex,” he said.
“Yes, Master,” I said.
“Did you know that such names are commonly found in primitive groups, innocent of civilization?”
“No, Master,” I said.
“Surely you recognized them as barbarisms,” he said.
“I had not thought of it,” I said.
“Of course not,” he said. “You are a barbarian.”
“Yes, Master,” I said.
“Such a name will not do,” he said.
I knew that slave names were commonly simple, as one would expect, as they are the names for animals. Common slave names, at least on the continent, were such as Tula, Bina, Lana, Leila, Lita, and such. Commonly, too, the slave has but a single name, but she may be more clearly specified as, say, Tula, the slave of Flavius, of such and such a street or district. Barbarian slaves are commonly given barbarian names, for example, Amanda, Amber, April, Beryl, Ethel, Tracy, Heather, Rose, Vivian, Victoria, Jocelyn, Stephanie, and such. Such names will mark her as barbarian, and suggest that she is born for the collar, as opposed to a Gorean woman of caste and Home Stone, and may be treated accordingly. Such names are apparently stimulatory to many Gorean males. Many Goreans delight in the mastery of barbarians. Certainly they well teach us our collars. Sometimes a barbarian name is placed on a Gorean female slave as a punishment name, to humiliate and humble her, to inform her that she is, in the master’s view, no more than a barbarian, and may expect to be treated accordingly. I find it difficult, sometimes, to understand the Gorean view in these matters. How is it that there is such a difference between the free woman and the slave, and then, again, that there is no difference? A radical distinction is drawn between the Gorean free woman, with caste and Home Stone, and the slave. The free woman is lofty and noble; she is esteemed, exalted, and honored; she is respected and shown great deference. On the other hand if she, usually a capture from a foreign city, falls slave all that is behind her, and she finds herself no more than another piece of vendible collar meat, auctioned off a block as one might auction a tarsk from the pens. Moreover, many Gorean men divide women into those who are slaves with collars and those who are slaves but not yet collared. Perhaps the distinction is that between culture and biology. In any event, I dare speak only for myself. I had little doubt that I was a slave, that I wanted to be a slave, and that I could be happy only as a slave, that I could be fulfilled only as my master’s slave. Some women wish to serve and love, to submit themselves selflessly, wholly, and helplessly. We are the slaves of our masters. And culturally, in my case, I encountered no problems in this respect. I was something ingredient in the culture, expected in the culture, approved in the culture, and desired in the culture. Accordingly, culturally, I was free to be what I was and wanted to be. I had no dilemma, for I was collared. As far as I can determine the men and women of Earth, my former world, and those of Gor are clearly of the same species. Indeed, legend has it that humans, some humans, were brought here long ago from my former world by unusual beings. They are often spoken of, in