Smug Bastard - Stacey Marie Brown Page 0,84

It just didn’t seem to change how I felt.

“No matter how hot the sex was, he is a criminal and con artist. And a father.”

I cringed, the description not fitting the man in my head, the boy I knew years ago. Everything about it rubbed me wrong, especially the last one. Not that I couldn’t see Smith as a father… just not with Becca.

“I never confronted him. I mean, I just took Becca’s word… and she would say anything to get me out of the picture.”

“She showed you proof. Don’t do this to yourself.” Sadie peered down at her watch. “Oh shit, I got to go.” She gathered her stuff, standing up. “You will still be here tonight at least, right?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“We’ll go out for drinks. I’m a good wing-woman. Maybe find a hottie to get under who will at least fade his memory.”

I sighed, the idea sounding like lying on nails, but I nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later.” She waved, dashing out of the café and running down the street to the bus stop.

It took me a couple of minutes to get up, my energy low today. I was happy, except for this constant anxious, agitated feeling inside. I had a need to move or do something, but I couldn’t figure out what. It felt like a thorn in my side, which made me feel like I wasn’t home. As much as I loved this place, it wasn’t my landing spot… if I even had one. Living the van life had turned me into a bit of a nomad.

Heading back up to the apartment, I got Goat for his walk, his mood anxious and eager to get out the door. Normally he was excited for his walk, but this was different.

“What’s up, lil man?” I scanned him over as we stepped back outside and he tugged on the leash, letting out a strange whimper. He was such a chill dude, so when he got squirrelly or agitated, my mom gut twisted in my chest, worried he wasn’t happy and healthy.

He’d finally eased a little around Nathan since we were in such close proximity but still tended to cower when he tried to pet him.

“Baby…” I reached to pet him, but his attention was locked forward. He let out a long whimper, yanking out of my grasp, his feet scrambling away from me. He never ran from me. Ever. He never liked leaving my side.

“Goat!” I screamed, lurching after him before I came to a stuttering stop.

“Holy fuck.” The words escaped from my mouth as a tsunami slammed into me, stealing all the air from my lungs, my muscles bracing as the impact hit me.

Goat let out a loud, happy whine, leaping on the man standing a yard away from me, Goat wiggling.

This couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t actually there.

I blinked again, but Smith Blackburn still consumed the sidewalk with his hotness.

“Hey, fluff ball.” He reached down, picking Goat up. Goat whimpered with glee, licking Smith’s face, squirming in his hold, trying to get closer to the man. “I’ve missed you too. More than you know.” Smith’s smile was huge as Goat licked and nuzzled him, his electric-blue eyes finding mine.

I couldn’t move or breathe, my brain not digesting the man who had been a constant fixture in my mind and dreams was standing in front of me. Here. Now. In San Francisco.

“Hey.” He kissed Goat’s head, setting him down, his gaze never leaving mine. “It’s good to see you. You are stun—”

“What are you doing here?” My voice was low; my lungs pumped, trying to fill with oxygen.

“To see you,” he rumbled.

I eyed him.

“Your mom. She told me where to find you.”

Traitor.

Smith took a few steps closer, his proximity forcing me to suck in, my shoulders rising. The smile dropped from his face, his eyes searching mine.

“How are you?”

Three words, and it felt like he pulled the pin on a grenade.

Boom.

“How am I?” I breathed from my nose. “How. Am. I?” Fury detonated and pitched me forward, my palms slamming into his chest. “Fuck you. You have no right to ask me that.” I shoved him again, the walls I had built around my damaged heart folding like cards, burning a ring of rage around it.

“Kins.” His deep voice raked at my tender flesh, pushing a small cry through my lips.

“Don’t.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here. Go back to your family. Leave me alone.” I turned, tapping my leg for