So give her something to fight against, someone to fight beside. “But don’t expect me to let you cover your head and send people I care about to do what you should be doing. This is your battle, too. What you gave us didn’t work. As I said, every step at that compound is a trap. We need more from you.” She paused. “Gideon told me about the way you handed him Varak on a platter but dodged talking about Zahra. He accepted it because he felt sorry for you.” Her voice became flat and uncompromising. “I don’t feel sorry for you. I can’t afford to do that. It’s too dangerous for all of us. I won’t pity you, but I’ll respect you and work with you. Because I believe you can do anything you have to do to help us, Dalai. I thought a long time about how you fit into the picture, everything that you’d discussed with Gideon, your background, what you must have felt, what you wanted out of life. What your story really was…And then I realized that Gideon was letting his guilty feelings blind him to the fact that you aren’t quite the victim he thinks you to be. Yes, you’ve been mistreated and threatened and terrorized. Who could deny that’s true?” She paused. “But I believe you’ve managed to survive it because you’re very, very strong. You had to be strong to live with Zahra Kiyani since you were a child. She’s a powerhouse and as evil as they come. Gideon believes you’ve been brainwashed, but I think you’ve just done and said the things you had to in order to survive. I did the same thing when I was living in all those foster homes when I was a kid. But you had it even rougher than me. It took someone very smart and patient to fight that silent battle with Zahra all these years. I imagine most of the time she doesn’t realize you’re doing it. You’re still fighting, but I’d bet somewhere down deep you’ve been waiting for your chance to get away from her. You might even have a plan? I think that first night that Gideon came to you, the reason you were so upset was that you were afraid he’d get in the way of any plan you might have to free yourself from Zahra. Is that true?”
Dalai didn’t reply.
It was pure guesswork and instinct, but Jill had to go with it once she’d started. “But then Varak showed up on the scene, and it was a horrible scenario that you couldn’t tolerate. You had to do something, anything, to get rid of him. You’re frightened of Zahra, but in the end you didn’t see her as the prime immediate threat. You thought you’d have time later to find a way to escape from her. So you distracted Gideon from discussing anything about her so that he’d concentrate on Nils Varak. Varak had hurt you terribly and would hurt you again if given the opportunity. It was to your advantage to have us go after him with full force right away and prevent him from doing that.” She smiled sadly. “So you called Gideon and delivered the message you wanted to send. When you left him, Gideon had a mission.”
Dalai was silent. Then she finally said, “You’re…very clever. Madam said you were.” Another silence. “That’s the reason she hated you. She tried to get that Wyatt man from the U.N. to stop you. But he couldn’t do it, so she had to go to Varak.”
It wasn’t that frank admission that surprised Jill but the fact that Dalai’s voice and manner had altered in the space of that silence. Both were no longer trembling or fearful, only troubled.
“Gideon is clever, too,” Jill said quietly. “He would have realized what you were doing if he hadn’t been so conscience-stricken about how he treated you when you first came to the palace. He has a great heart, and it tends to get in his way.”
“There’s no reason for him to feel badly,” she said jerkily. “He treated me very well. Everyone else was afraid of her.” Then the words tumbled out. “I didn’t want to do this. But he was always so smart and strong. It’s what I most remembered about him. I thought he’d be all right. I didn’t mean not to tell him the whole truth.” Then she stopped. “No, I guess I did. But I gave him Varak,