danger to the team. He had a right to expect her to stay out of it.
But she wanted to go. She needed to go with him. Varak was a devil from the depths of hell. He had reached out and killed thousands of people. Who knew what kind of force he still had at his command? It might be intended to be an exploratory foray into that jungle, but that didn’t mean it would stay that way. The panic was rising as the thought stabbed through her. How many stories had she written about good plans gone wrong?
They could all die.
Novak could die.
No!
She jumped to her feet. She tore across the short distance that separated her from Novak’s hut in seconds. The next instant she was inside. “This is all wrong!” she said fiercely. “I can’t have it like this.”
He whirled to face her. “What’s wrong?” He was instantly on the attack. “What happened?”
“I won’t be cheated.” She hurled herself at him. She was in his arms. She was kissing him. “I won’t have you cheated. Varak has already taken too much. Take off your clothes.”
“What?” He pushed her away from him to look down at her. “What the hell are you doing, Jill?”
“Nothing that’s in the least thought-out, or probably even sane. And you have a perfect right to say you’ve changed your mind and don’t want me. But I think it’s still there, or I wouldn’t be feeling—”
“Shut up,” he said hoarsely. “You’re damn right it’s not sane. And every word is making me rock-hard. Get out of here.”
She shook her head. “You want it. You want me. You’ve told me you do.” She broke free of him and pulled her tee shirt over her head and threw it aside. “And I wish you’d take your clothes off so that I won’t feel as if I’m some kind of sex maniac. I’m not very good at this seduction bullshit. I’ve always thought that kind of thing was phony.” She was trying to undo her bra. “But if that’s what you want, then I’ll try to—”
“Stop it.” He grabbed her wrists and held her still. “You’re killing me.” He drew a deep breath. “Talk to me. Tell me what brought this on before I throw you out.”
“That’s just like you. You tell me what you want, then all of a sudden you’re worrying and pushing me away because you think that I’m so damn vulnerable.” She glared up at him. “I’m not weak. Sometimes bad things happen to me, but I can handle them. I’ll always be able to handle them without you taking care of me. So back off, Novak.”
“You’re not answering me.”
“Because when you come into the room I tense up because I know your just being here will change everything. It shouldn’t be that way. I write my own story, dammit. But not when you’re around. Why do you think I’ve been fighting you? But now Gideon pulls this thing with Varak out of his hat, and suddenly it doesn’t matter.” She repeated through set teeth, “It doesn’t matter. So take off your clothes, Novak.”
“Not quite yet.” His gaze was narrowed on her face. “Why did it make a difference?”
“Don’t be stupid. I can’t go with you, dammit. I’d be a liability. What if something happens to you? What if you die? Then Varak would win because we’d both be cheated by him. We wouldn’t be able to have this.” She was trying to steady her voice. “I won’t have that, Novak. I want you to have everything you want. And I want to have everything I want. And we both know what we’ve wanted since the day we met.” She swallowed. “So will you please let go of my wrists and take me down on those blankets over there and do something about it?”
“So I’m to thank that bastard, Varak, for you?” His hands tightened on her wrists. “I don’t think so, Jill. I don’t find that prospect appealing.” His lips twisted. “What am I saying? I’m going crazy at the thought of dragging you down on those blankets. I just can’t stomach the idea that he’d have anything to do with it.” He suddenly smiled recklessly. “So I’ll have to make sure that it’s only between you and me. Because I’m not going to be fool enough to walk away from you no matter what brought you here.” He dropped her wrists and started to unbutton his shirt. “Though I admit I had a