Smoked - Mari Mancusi Page 0,102

love you. Even when I was furious with you, I still loved you.”

Her voice broke. Connor took her hands in his, finding her eyes with his own steady blue ones. He gave her a wistful look that made her heart shatter.

“I love you too,” he said, his voice filled with earnest. Then he gave her a shy grin. “Since I first met you at your grandfather’s museum and you blinded me with Mace.”

She laughed through her tears. “Yeah, well, you should have known better than to come between a girl and her dragon.”

He grabbed her, pulling her close, until her face was smashed against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat against her ear—usually so strong and steady, now beating fast, almost erratically. He was scared too, she realized. He was trying to hide it from her. But he was terrified.

“I don’t want you to do this!” she found herself blubbering.

“Oh, Trin,” he murmured. “Don’t you see? This is why I came here. This was my mission all along. I never expected to come back, you know. When I signed up for this gig, I knew it was a one-way trip. And it’s been a far longer, crazier trip than I could have ever imagined. But even so, now it has to end.”

“Please,” she begged, knowing she sounded pathetic and weak but at the same time not caring that she did. “I can’t lose you. You’re all I have left.” Her mind flashed to all those in her life who had already fallen—her mother, her grandfather, her friends. But Connor—she’d assumed he’d always be there, had taken for granted the fact that he would be. “If you leave, I’ll be all alone.”

“No,” he corrected gently, though his voice sounded strained. “You’ll have Emmy back. And you’ll have my brother. I know he’s infatuated with Scarlet, but he’ll take care of you too. I know he will.” He gave her a small smile. “He loves you, you know. In his own crazy, messed-up way, he’ll always love you. And he’ll always keep you safe.”

“But it’s not the same…”

“You also have your father,” Connor continued. “And the other Potentials. And even…” He shrugged. “Those goofy Dracken kids. I have to admit, they’re handy in a pinch.” He leveled his gaze on her. “Trinity, you have a huge family. A team. You’ll never have to be alone again.”

Trinity closed her eyes, forcing herself to draw in a shaky breath. He was right, of course. Most of her life, she’d had to navigate on her own. Going from foster home to foster home, changing families like so much underwear. But now, things had changed. She had a big, beautiful, crazy family who had dedicated their lives to her and her crusade to save the world.

But they weren’t Connor.

She burst into a fresh set of tears. “I can’t take this!” she cried. “I’m sorry! I know you want me to be brave. And I usually am. But I can’t… I don’t want to…” She broke off, unable to continue.

“Trinity,” he groaned, his own voice hoarse. “I’m begging you, sweetheart, please try to stay strong for me. This is killing me. You know that, right? The last thing on earth I want to do is leave you.” He pulled away, searching her face with his eyes. His blue, blue eyes, shining at her with an earnestness and desperation that tore her heart in two.

“All I want to do is stay with you,” he continued. “I want to marry you. I want to give you babies and create the kind of beautiful family that neither of us had growing up. A stable, normal, boring old family that plays flecking board games on Friday nights and pops popcorn.”

He gave her a sad smile. “But I can’t be selfish here. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. You can’t even fathom how bad it will get if we don’t stop it now. How many people will die. How many normal, boring families will be torn apart. That’s why I came here in the first place, you know. To do whatever it took to save the world.” He gave her a rueful look. “I just hadn’t planned on falling in love before I managed to do it.”

Trinity let out a choking sob. “Connor…”

They fell into each other’s arms, reaching, grasping as if their very lives depended on it, their mouths finding one another, kiss after desperate kiss—each one closer to the last.

She’d pushed him away for so long. And yet now,