Up in Smoke - Tessa Bailey Page 0,32
in front of her, eyes raging like a storm. “You don’t want to end this. I see right through you, sweetheart. So guess what? I’m not letting you.” His gaze dropped to her lips as if he wanted to kiss her, but she stumbled back to avoid him. No way she could allow his kiss. It would slay her. She’d never make it to the hallway. Connor followed her, though. Slowly. “You want freedom? Fine. I can’t stop you from slipping out windows or walking out doors. If I have to go insane with worry in order to keep you, I’ll do it. I’ll do it for how I feel when you show up again. I’m not giving up. And you insult me by thinking I can’t take some frustration. Some pain. Bring it, Erin. I’m fucking ready.”
Time slowed, but her pulse sped up. She must have been secretly hoping he would resist, because relief swamped her. Not just relief. Pride. In him. A totally foreign emotion, since she made it a point never to take pride in anything or anyone, save her escape plans. “We can’t cure each other.”
“Watch us.”
Such confidence scared the shit out of her. She would let him down. She knew it. Being responsible for someone else’s happiness was horrifying when she didn’t even know how to be happy herself. “What if it takes a long time? Do you…will you need other women?”
His jaw flexed. “What would you do if I went to another woman?”
Red filtered her view of him. If she was standing in the kitchen instead of the living room, she would have flipped on all four stove burners full blast. Her throat tightened with the need to shout until she couldn’t hold it in. It ripped out of her like a gale wind. “I’d scratch her fucking eyes out.”
Connor didn’t flinch at her ear-piercing volume. He only nodded. “Good. Don’t ever ask me that again.” His eyes darkened. “It goes unsaid that if you go near another man, I’ll end his life.”
Desire rippled in her midsection. It turned her on, that violent possessiveness. It stirred her, called to her own nature. But this was a lot to take in all at once. She needed some distance before she could accept it. Accept him and what he was offering. Five minutes ago, she’d written this relationship off as a mistake, mostly on his end. Walking away was the right thing. This little experiment would fail. She was positive of that. And yet the thought of never touching him again, not having the right to be possessive of him…it made her want to crumble.
So she did what she did best. “I’ll see you later.”
She walked out the front door and escaped. For the moment.
Feeling light-headed, Erin rounded the corner at the end of the block. She’d felt Connor watching her from the apartment window, but now she was out of view. God, he must hate that. Must be climbing the walls with the need to follow her. But he wouldn’t. He’d meant what he said about giving her freedom. She was grateful for it, even if she half wished he’d come with her. She’d left him only a few minutes ago and already she missed his scent, his reassuring presence.
Yeah, she was fucked.
Also, she was so damn hungry her stomach felt like it might cave in on itself. They hadn’t eaten dinner last night after she’d opted for a game of Slip ’n Slide with the olive oil. Not that it hadn’t been seriously worth it. The feel of him in her mouth, the things he’d said…the growling.
Pancakes. Focus on getting some pancakes.
Up ahead she saw an intersection with fast-food restaurants on either side. Surely there would be a twenty-four-hour diner where she could chow down and clear her head. Thinking would be easier on a full stomach. One thing she’d learned to appreciate during her short stays in prison was food. She never left a bite on her plate or complained about temperature. Hell, once you’d eaten stale granola over flavorless yogurt containing undefinable lumps, you were happy with damn near anything.
Connor’s image drifted into her head. The way he’d looked with morning stubble, hair a mess on top of his head. Those loose sweatpants that hung low on his hips, but managed to hug his ass perfectly. His intensity when he backed her down in the living room. Bring it. A shiver coasted down her arms. Damn him. Didn’t he realize she wasn’t