“I know. He’s not comfortable with letting me know how he feels at all. So don’t think I have it easy with Tristan just because we’re having regular sex.” What we have is good but it also feels shaky. Like one tiny mistake will cause it to collapse beyond repair.
“Regular sex sounds pretty dreamy right now,” Kelli says, making us both laugh.
“It’s great, but it’s not everything.” I can’t believe I just said that, but it’s true. I want more from Tristan. I know we haven’t known each other very long and this is all shiny and new, especially to him, but I can’t help the way I feel. I want a commitment.
I want to call Tristan Prescott my boyfriend.
“I think you should call him,” I tell Kelli.
“Who? Tristan? What am I going to say to him? Stop being a jackass to Alex or I’m going to kick your ass?” she asks, smiling.
Seeing that smile is such a relief. I don’t like it when Kelli’s upset. She’s our cheerful, always funny, always sarcastic girl. “You need to call Steven.”
“Oh.” Her smile fades. “I can’t call him.”
“Then text him.”
“I don’t want to do that either.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re being ridiculous. Just bite the bullet and do it. Unless you enjoy sitting around in misery wondering why he won’t reach out to you.”
“Fine.” She sighs heavily. “But what should I say? ‘Oh hey, Steven, had a rockin’ good time with you Saturday night. Had no idea you knew all those tongue tricks and that your dick is so big.’ I’m sure he’d just love to hear that.”
I blink at her. “Um, I’m fairly certain he’d definitely love to hear that.” I didn’t need to, but too late.
She stares at her clenched hands resting on the table. “I’m nervous.”
“Have you ever considered that he’s nervous too?” I ask her gently.
Her head lifts, big eyes staring at me. “He probably is huh.”
“Totally.” I nod. “This is Steven we’re talking about.”
“He said he hated seeing Conrad’s hands all over me.” She makes a face. “I felt bad for making him jealous. He said the sweetest things to me. How beautiful I am, how I always make everything fun whenever I’m around.”
“That’s sweet. And true,” I tell her.
Kelli smiles though it’s tinged with sadness. “I’m not just nervous, I’m scared. I really, really like him, especially after everything that happened. I think we could be something amazing, if he would just give us a chance.”
I reach out and grab her hand again, giving it a firm squeeze. “Text him. Just say hi. See what happens next. It can’t hurt.”
“You’re right. It can’t.” She glances over at the counter again. “I really want another PSL.”
“You do not. You’re jittery enough. But you can sit here and watch me finish mine.” I smile, taking another sip and she sticks her tongue out at me. “Listen, you need to make this right with Steven so we can all go to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving and it’s not all awkward and weird.”
“Oh, it’s already going to be awkward and weird, trust me. I’m going to meet his parents, Alex. I’m going to have to sit at a table, smile and make nice with them while I’m eating their yummy turkey and stuffing. All the while I’ll be thinking, ‘I’ve had your son’s dick in my mouth.’ Now that’s fucking awkward.”
“Kelli, God. Please.” I did not want that particular image flashing in my brain.
“Tell me you won’t have the same issue if you ever meet Tristan’s parents one day. Talk about uncomfortable,” Kelli says dryly.
Just thinking of Tristan and his family leaves me feeling melancholy. Which is silly. We’re only apart for a week—less than that really. He’s coming home late Friday night so technically it’s five days.
The five longest days of my life, I’m sure.
“I don’t even think Tristan has parents,” I joke. “Maybe he was hatched. I mean, who created him?”
Kelli laughs. “He’s such a perfect male specimen, maybe God created him, you know? Just pointed his finger and said, ‘And on the eighth day, God created Tristan.’ What do you think?”
We’re both laughing now. “You two make a cute couple,” Kelli says, silencing me. “I’m serious. I think you’re good for him.”
“You really think?”
“Yeah.” Kelli nods. “He needed someone to ground him. Make him less of an asshole. I think you’re doing a pretty good job of that.”