The Slow Burn (Moonlight and Motor Oil #2) - Kristen Ashley Page 0,17
with it out, unable to keep it firm where it should be in the back of my head, I had to think about it.
Think about how earth-shattering that had been.
Think about how I’d been right that first time I met Toby. The first time I’d seen that top-to-toe perfection. That thick black hair slicked back from a widow’s peak. His long black beard. His tall, lean body with its broad shoulders and narrow hips and loose-limbed grace. The compassion in his crow-black eyes as he stared down at me after I’d endured yet another blow from the man I’d foolishly selected to be my husband.
The blow that everyone got to watch land and crush me.
Including Toby.
But now it was out, I had to think about how I knew a man who looked like that, who could share such feeling just with his gaze, who could talk so gently with that low, rich voice, would never be for someone like me.
Sweet, shy, cute Izzy—she scored Johnny Gamble.
Wild child Addie—I scored a jackass like Perry.
It did not help in the coming weeks I’d learn Tobias Gamble was the sharp edge to Johnathon Gamble’s enduring anvil.
And damn, but that was totally my thing.
Yes, in those weeks I’d learned Toby wore his faded jeans loose on his hips, his tees were kickass and clung tight to his shoulders and pecs and slack at his flat abs and trim waist, and that rocked.
I’d further learned when he worked on cars at the garage he half-owned, he played hardcore metal and he did it loud.
I’d also learned he had wanderlust. He’d taken his forestry degree and put it to work as a logger and a park ranger and he had his pilot’s license.
I’d learned he laughed easy.
I’d learned how he looked at Dave with complete respect, Johnny with open affection, and Margot with unhidden adoration. How he teased Iz like he’d known her for years and folded her into their family without a pause.
And last, I’d learned he had a singular talent of putting up with me because I was part of the Izzy Package, and from what Deanna was saying, clearly hiding he was doing it.
Though he really dug my kid.
So that was something.
“He called you baggage?” Deanna asked incredulously.
“He didn’t use that word, but he did tell Bryce I had heavy shit I was dealing with,” I told her.
“That’s a lot different than calling you baggage, Addie.”
“Well, Bryce obviously asked him if he was going there and he’d said I had heavy shit, and while I was sorting it out, I didn’t need to get hooked up with a wanderer who might not stick around. I needed something steady, so he wasn’t interested.”
“And again, that’s a lot different than saying you were baggage and he avoided baggage,” Deanna kept to her theme.
“Maybe to a woman who’s been married for years to the love of her life, Deanna, but out here in the world of the single woman . . . no, the single mom, what he said translated means he’s not interested . . . at all.”
“I’m not sure—” she began.
“Do you think a Gamble man wouldn’t go for what he wanted no matter what?” I asked.
Deanna didn’t have a response to that.
This was because we both knew a Gamble man went for what he wanted no matter what.
Hell, Iz had Johnny’s ginormous rock on her finger, was living with him and he’d had stables especially built for her horses at his property, and they hadn’t even been seeing each other for a year.
Yeah.
A Gamble man went after what he wanted, locked it down, and then . . . onward.
“Listen, I’m not saying anything against Toby,” I spoke into her silence. “I get it. He’s not into me. That’s understandable. I am baggage. And Deanna, you have to remember, I watched this kind of thing happen with my mom over and over again. After my dad, she looked for love. She had an open and hopeful heart. She wanted that for herself. She wanted stability for her girls. And she got knocked down again and again by guys who wanted in her pants but wanted nothing to do with some other man’s kids. At least Toby’s honest about it. That genuinely says good things about him. Really good. And I appreciate it.”
This was a total lie.
I did not appreciate it.
I was attracted to Toby Gamble.
I wanted to taste his mouth and other parts of him.