a very pretty baby, but I didn’t know I’d feel something different. Not that I didn’t like you. I just didn’t know what to do with you. I was alone, and I didn’t have any money. She shouldn’t have done that to me.”
“And you shouldn’t have done that to me.” She had to control her anger. “No child should be brought into the world because of anger.”
“It all came out okay,” Sandra said defensively. “You have a good life. You should be grateful I didn’t get an abortion.”
“You’ve used that card all my life,” Eve said. “That I had a duty to you because you brought me into the world in spite of all the problems that meant for you. And I bought what you said because you’re my mother, and I care about you.” She turned on her heel. “God knows why.”
“Where are you going?”
“I want to shake you. I have to get away from you for a few minutes.”
“I knew you’d be angry that I didn’t tell you about Beth.”
“Beth? I can’t even think about her right now.” She glared back over her shoulder. “You know, Sandra, all my life I thought I was just an accident, and I could accept that. I’m having a little more trouble with the concept that I was a weapon for you to get back at your mother. That’s a little cold for me.” The front door slammed behind her.
She drew in a deep breath of cool air. Why had she gotten so angry? She was a mature woman, and she knew Sandra. They had never had a relationship on which to build. It was all past history.
But the history had changed a little. As a child, there had always been the hurt, the fear that her mother didn’t love her, and she had been thrown back to that time with those few words Sandra had uttered. She hadn’t realized she’d had two strikes against her even before she was born. She was a substitute for the daughter her mother had wanted, the daughter she couldn’t have.
And it hurt, dammit.
Screw maturity and understanding—it hurt.
“Eve.” Sandra was standing in the doorway with a cup in her hands, her gaze fixed apprehensively on Eve. “Don’t be mad at me.” She came toward her. “I brought you a cup of coffee.”
Like a little girl trying to bribe her way into forgiveness for a transgression. Sandra was a little girl in many ways, Eve thought wearily. Mentally and emotionally, she had stayed a child even though she had been allowed to grow up too soon. That dichotomy, Eve found, was one of the toughest things she had to deal with in her mother. Sandra probably didn’t even understand why Eve was upset. She couldn’t see beyond the boundaries of her personal sphere. What the hell. Accept the bribe. She took the cup of coffee. “Thank you.”
Sandra looked relieved. “And I forgive you for stomping out here even though it was rude.”
“Don’t push it, Sandra.”
“After all, this isn’t about you.”
She took a sip of coffee. “Isn’t it? For a minute, it felt like it was. You’ve always discouraged me from asking anything about the time when you had me, and I went along with you.” Her lips twisted. “I didn’t want to be insensitive. But considering what you’ve told me, I’d like to ask you a question or two. We know Beth’s father was Richard Avery. Who is my father, Sandra?”
She was silent.
“You don’t know?”
“I’m not exactly sure. I think he might have been the artist I met at a beach party at Fort Lauderdale.”
“His name.”
“Gary … something.” She trailed off. “I don’t remember. He was an artist and going to Haiti the next day. What did it matter?”
“It matters to me.” But it obviously didn’t matter to Sandra. “So you were left alone with no money and a baby you found you didn’t really want after all. Why didn’t you just put me up for adoption?”
“I thought about it. But like you said, I didn’t have any money, and the people at the hospital said I could apply for more welfare if I had a kid.”
“Oh, yes, by all means, you had to be practical. That was in Miami. How did you end up back here in Atlanta?”
“I thought maybe my mother would come back here. I needed my money. She shouldn’t have taken it. But she wasn’t in Atlanta, and none of the people we knew had seen her. I never saw her or my