of the front door, seeing Mackenzie’s trembling frame sitting on the grass. Her head was upturned, staring at the sky. I wished I knew what she was thinking at that moment.
“Go, baby. You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Don’t expect a miracle. Get to know her again. Let her know you. Let her fall in love with the new you. I have a feeling she’ll come around.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said, leaning down and planting a kiss on her forehead. Taking a deep breath, I placed my unsteady hand on the doorknob and turned it, heading down the steps and onto the grass. My silhouette cast a shadow over Mackenzie, but she remained facing forward. I could tell she was consciously trying to ignore my presence.
“Do you mind if I sit?” I asked in a firm tone, trying to mask my unease.
She craned her neck to look at me and nodded slightly…an ambivalent gesture.
“Thanks.” I lowered myself, not sitting too close. Although nothing had really changed between us, there was still an electricity in the air just from being near her. She hadn’t turned me down or run away, so I was taking this as a step in the right direction, regardless of how small a step it was.
A few birds chirped, flying in and settling on the fountain, bathing their feathers. The sun was pleasant, and clouds drifted in the sky, reminding me how much I missed being home. In the African desert, the sun was relentless, barely a cloud in sight. The texture in the sky here was beautiful, reminding me of all the times I sat in the backyard with my mother, spying animals in the clouds.
“It’s a boy,” Mackenzie said, breaking the awkward silence. I snapped my head toward hers and met her eyes. She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt and I could sense her nerves. I felt the same way, although I didn’t want her to know it. “I mean, I figure I should tell you since you’re the father and all.”
“Mackenzie, I–”
She held up her hand, stopping me. “Don’t worry, Tyler. I’m not asking you to help. I know this is probably all a bit of a surprise. It took me quite a while to wrap my head around everything. Truth be told, I’m still coming to terms with it, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to change your lifestyle or act any differently around me. If you don’t want any part of this–”
“What makes you think that?”
She shrugged and avoided my eyes. “I just–”
I reached over and grabbed her hand. She looked at me and a glimmer of hope ran through me when she didn’t immediately pull away. “I want to be part of this baby’s life. Despite what you want to believe, our son is the result of my love for you, and I will make sure he has everything he needs. The same goes for you. I want to be part of your life, too, but I know we have a lot to work through before that can happen. I get it. We know each other, but we don’t really know each other. I’m willing to start from the beginning again, to find out who you are as a person. I hope you’ll give me the chance to at least find out who I am as a person, too. I hope you’ll give me the opportunity to prove I’m worth your time, your trust, and maybe your heart.”
She nodded and tore her hand from mine, staring forward once again. I expected her to give me a list of reasons why it would never work between us, but that didn’t happen. I was hopeful that meant she was willing to give us a second chance, despite it all.
I glanced to her as she gazed out over the perfectly manicured lawn of my mother’s house, unable to remember ever being so on edge and nervous around a woman before. I was cognizant of each of my movements, from a flicker of my tongue to a deep breath that could be taken the wrong way.
“Why do I feel like a thirteen-year-old boy who is talking to a girl for the first time?” I joked.
She gradually faced me, a small smile crossing her beautiful lips. Lips I had dreamt of nearly every night since I had been gone. “Did you really not talk to a girl until you were thirteen?” she asked, her voice coy.