flights would be departing for several hours and it would take just as long to get one of the company’s jets prepped for flight. I could use a few hours rest for what I knew would be one of my most difficult missions to date – convincing Mackenzie I was someone worth forgiving, that my love for her was real.
“So what’s the plan?” Eli asked, helping me carry my bags up the short steps of my house in Beacon Hill.
“Sleep for a few hours, I suppose. Then head back home.”
“Home?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Yes. Home. Where Mackenzie is. I’m done being a coward. I’m not going to let my brother dictate what’s best for me anymore. For all I know, there may never have been any threat to our safety. Maybe he just made it up to keep me away from her. I don’t know, but I’m through being his pawn.”
Eli nodded before holding his hand out to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me in, patting my back. “Good for you. I’ll do what I can to get a flight plan in place for tomorrow, hopefully without your brother knowing.”
I smiled appreciatively at him. “Thanks. Call me with the details.”
“Will do,” he said, turning from me and hopping back into the cab we had shared from the airport.
Alone once more, I stared at my front door, my chest tightening. I hadn’t stepped foot inside this house since the day everything fell apart. I had my mom grab the few things I needed for my trip, too distraught to face the memories I made with Mackenzie within the four walls of the house that, for a brief moment of time, actually felt like a home.
After unlocking the door and disarming the system, I entered the foyer. Everything looked just as I had left it four months ago, but it was all different. Darkness enveloped the house, despite the light that was now flooding through the foyer.
The sound of my shoes hitting the hardwood floor echoed as I walked into the formal sitting room and poured myself a scotch from the wet bar. A strong memory rushed forward and I placed my hands on the counter, trying to steady myself.
“Something about being near you makes my heart race faster than it has in years. And I want this feeling to last for as long as possible, preferably forever. It took meeting you to make me realize I was lost. I was numb for years. I always held out the smallest glimmer of hope someone would come along to make me feel again, just like you did. So, yes, this is my home. Just like South Padre is my home. I’m home as long as I have you. Alaska could be my home. Antarctica, Idaho, a corn field in Nebraska. Fuck. I don’t care where, as long as you’re with me. You’re my home.”
Closing my eyes, I fought against the memory, trying to forget it. The ghost of Mackenzie’s spirit surrounded me here, tormenting me. I could almost smell her scent of cinnamon and it broke me more than I thought possible.
I grabbed the scotch and poured more into my glass. My world spinning, I dashed up the stairs, wishing I could find somewhere in my house that hadn’t been tainted by my betrayal and deception, but I knew it wasn’t possible. It surrounded me, mocking me, reminding me that I didn’t deserve her forgiveness.
Hesitating outside the door to my master bedroom, my hand hovered over the handle. A voice urged me to open it, to face my demons, to live with the reminder of what I had done. That was my penance for using Mackenzie.
Tentatively, I turned the knob and pushed the door open. I stood frozen in place as my eyes fell on my bedroom, everything exactly as I remembered, as if it was suspended in time. The bed still had a rumple on the duvet from where Mackenzie had been reading when I came back from picking out her engagement ring. The shadows of her soul, her heart, her love were everywhere, torturing me, reminding me, punishing me.
A low glimmer on the nightstand caught my eye and I went to it. I grew breathless when I saw the jeweled cross she always wore. I picked it up and my eyes scanned the room to see what else had been left behind. Her suitcase was still in the corner. I opened the closet to see the clothes she had