Maybe if she had a husband. Or children. But she had made other choices, focusing on school and planning a career. She had no way of knowing that her family would be wiped out in an instant. No one would ever imagine such a fate for themselves.
In the succeeding days, as she settled into the house, her phone buzzed constantly with messages of encouragement from friends back in Seattle.
The job of cleaning out the house seemed impossible and she briefly considered leaving everything in place and just walking away. Her parents’ belongings seemed to confront her with fresh pain every time she opened a drawer or a door. She knew what her mother would tell her to do. Clean it out. Give their belongings to those who really needed them. Alex picked up empty boxes from the liquor store and began to pack up clothes and shoes for the Salvation Army. Each day she woke up and was startled and depressed anew. In her father’s office she looked with a heavy heart at his shelves of books which lined the walls. Who would want them? People didn’t collect books anymore, unless they were valuable. How was she to know which was which? She made a note to call her father’s colleagues at the Revolutionary War Museum in Boston, where he had been curator, and ask. Meanwhile, she thought, they could just stay there. They weren’t hurting anything.
Her first weekend at home she was invited to the annual neighborhood Christmas party. At first she said no, but her parents’ old friends and neighbors pleaded with her to come. The night of the party she dawdled until it was almost too late, but finally ran across the street, coatless, avoiding the mounds of snow, and arrived, shivering, at the front door of this year’s hostess.
‘Alex!’ cried Laney Thompson as she enveloped Alex in a tight, reassuring hug. ‘I’m so glad you came. Oh, look who came to see you!’
Alex felt something brush against her legs. She looked down and saw her parents’ calico cat, Castro, rubbing lightly against her.
Immediately her eyes filled with tears. She knew that Laney had taken the cat after their death. She had been grateful for Laney’s offer, since she was living in Seattle at the time and her apartment building forbade pets. But seeing the cat again brought back sweet, painful memories.
Alex crouched down and rubbed Castro around the ruff of his neck. ‘Hi, buddy,’ she whispered. ‘Remember me? How ya doin’?’
‘He’s doing fine,’ said Laney. ‘He’s made himself right at home. But if you want him back . . .’
‘No, no,’ said Alex. ‘That’s OK. He seems happy here.’
‘Well, if you change your mind, you know you can just tell me,’ said Laney. ‘Now, stop fiddling with that cat and come say hello. There’s a lot of people here who want to see you.’
Alex quickly wiped her eyes, stood up and took a deep breath. Laney squeezed her hand for courage, and then led Alex through the cheerful, crowded house which smelled of pine boughs and cinnamon. She placed a punch glass in Alex’s hand, and stayed beside her as neighbors came to kiss her and make her welcome.
‘Do you remember Seth?’ Laney asked as a tall man wearing a tweed jacket over a black T-shirt approached them. He had wavy, uncombed dark brown hair and dark eyes behind black-rimmed glasses. ‘He teaches out at the University of Chicago.’
Alex nodded, although it had been years since she had even spoken to Seth Paige or his older sister, Janet. They had both been out of high school by the time Alex got there. She had seen them at neighborhood parties over the years. Janet, now a mother of two, had come, with her father, to her parents’ funeral. ‘Sure, how are you, Seth?’ Alex asked.
‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘I wanted to tell you how sorry I was about your parents. I couldn’t make it back from Chicago for the funeral, but Janet and my dad told me about it.’
‘Thank you,’ said Alex, stiffening. She didn’t want to talk about her parents’ death. It was one of the reasons why she had tried to avoid the party. ‘Home for Christmas?’ she asked brightly.
‘My dad had surgery and he needed someone to look after him. It was semester break and Janet has to spend Christmas with her in-laws in Virginia so . . . I was elected.’
‘Is he OK?’ Alex asked. ‘Your dad?’
‘Getting better,’ said Seth, nodding. ‘So, are