want some magic way to make this all right, that somehow Heather and I can work this out. For the children’s sake,” Sierra tossed out, because that’s what couples tried to do when they wanted to keep things together for the kids.
“Have you thought about what you’ll say to the children?”
“How are they supposed to understand this, when I can barely wrap my head around it?”
“They are siblings. I suppose, at some point, they should be told.”
“I agree. At some point. But how do I tell my sons that their father was a cheater? How does that news impact them? Will they think it’s okay to do that to a woman because, hey, their father did it to their mother? Or will they think it’s the worst thing you can do to your partner and that their father is a bad person? No matter what David did, I don’t want them to think less of their father.”
“The truth is that David was human. He made mistakes. The boys can learn from them. You can make them understand that what David did was hurtful and wrong, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love his children, that he wasn’t a good father to them.”
“He didn’t think of what his actions would do to those boys. He didn’t think about anything but what he wanted and his own selfish desires. This wasn’t a onetime lapse in judgment. He carried on the affair for however long, maybe even up until his death.”
“I’m sure Heather can fill in the details.”
“I don’t need the details. I don’t want to hear her excuses or apologies. Nothing she says will make this better. Nothing will change my mind about what I think about her now and how I feel.”
Dede deflated with a heavy sigh and sank into the chair. “What about Mason?”
“What about him? Am I supposed to trust him when he kept this from me?”
“You don’t know for sure Mason knew before he investigated the loan. You love him. Not the same way you loved David. It’s deeper. Don’t let this come between you. Give him a chance to explain.”
She would. But right now, she was mad at herself and the world, and she didn’t think anyone could say anything to change that.
“All I know is that I don’t want to see her ever again. I don’t want to be confronted with what she and David did every time I see her. I don’t want to feel this way over and over again.”
“Please, Sierra, take some time to let all this sink in and settle before you make any drastic decisions.”
“I don’t have a choice. I have to think of the boys. I can’t just do what I want to do like Heather does without thought to how it affects others. No. I have to be responsible and thoughtful and considerate and decent while she does whatever the hell she wants, consequences be damned.”
Her mother allowed the bitter snarkiness without comment. “All I’m saying is take some time. Think about who’s at fault and who’s not. What’s best for your kids?”
Yeah, that last part was the hardest. The boys deserved to know Hallee was their sister. Lies had a way of coming out eventually, and they would have to learn the truth.
She was expected to be the bigger person. But it was damn hard when she was the one wronged in so many ways.
“Would you please watch the boys? I need to get out of here for a while.”
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. Away from here.”
“You can’t outrun this, sweetheart.”
“I know. But I can at least be alone with it for a while and not have to worry about what everyone else wants me to do and how they want me to feel and what they expect me to do to make this all right for everyone. I want to just be mad.”
Because being hurt and sad just might break her.
And she didn’t want the boys to see her curled into a ball, crying her heart out over a man who broke her heart and a sister who crushed it to pieces.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sierra found herself at the ocean, sitting in the sand, staring at the waves crashing on the beach, seagulls screeching overhead, her thoughts a swirl of emotions as wild as the wind blowing her hair back. Tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked. They dripped on her shirt and still she stared out at the wide expanse of water, out to the horizon, and fought