death, she still couldn’t account for the personal loan he’d taken out without her knowledge.
Fifty thousand dollars.
This past year, she’d struggled on her income combined with David’s Social Security to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads. And now she didn’t even have the house or a job.
She had this motel room for the next two days, another lined up for one night, but she needed something more permanent. The boys needed stability. They needed routine.
And so did she.
All this uncertainty left her a live wire of anxiety, sadness for all they’d lost, and uncertainty about how she’d get them all back on track and thriving again.
As a mom, she thought she could do it all. She tried.
Most days, until the fire, she did a pretty good job.
You can’t have everything. Something’s gotta give. But right now, overwhelmed by their circumstances and uncertainty about the future, she needed help.
Her family knew of their troubles. They wanted to help. She appreciated it, but until now she’d gone from hour to hour, day to day, trying her best to deal with the aftermath of the fire and keep the boys entertained.
But she needed to start thinking of the bigger picture. Especially because she was running out of money and racking up credit card debt. Yes, there was help out there for the fire victims. She’d taken advantage of the free clothes, everyday necessities, like toiletries, and even a few toys for the boys to take their minds off all they’d lost.
Truly, when she thought about all the things they needed to replace, it overwhelmed her.
And yet, she had moments where she embraced the fact that this was a chance to start over, start fresh.
But there was so much of the past still left unsettled.
While the community had come together to provide free meals and assistance to navigate the process and red tape involved in a disaster, it was still so overwhelming. All she wanted to do was hand the whole job over to someone else. She wanted to turn back time and go back to her life before the fire destroyed everything.
That thought only reminded her that life hadn’t been happy and carefree for a long time. Certainly not since her husband’s death and, if she was honest with herself, it started before that. There’d been a distance building between them for some time. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she’d never get the answers she desperately wanted from David.
Right now, that didn’t matter.
Her boys deserved better than dingy motel rooms and another takeout meal.
Sierra glanced around the messy room. Plastic shopping bags with their meager belongings on the floor and dresser, discarded takeout containers scattered across the small table by the window, the boys’ bath towels on the tile floor by the vanity with the dripping faucet, both beds a mess of tangled sheets littered with toy cars and stuffed animals, and her boys sitting among the chaos eating a bag of chips instead of a healthy snack.
The untidy room reflected the current state of her life.
She needed to clean up the mess, clear her mind, and come up with a plan for their new life.
“What do you guys think about going to visit Grandma and Aunt Amy and Aunt Heather?” Asking for help had never come easy, but Sierra really needed some right now. She’d reached that point where there was so much to tackle she didn’t know where to start.
The boys rolled up to their feet and jumped up and down on the bed. “Yes!”
Danny bounced and landed on his butt. “When can we go?”
“Now!” Oliver begged.
Yep, they needed family. Stability. Something familiar.
Truth be told, so did she, but that meant going home. It felt like the right decision, but sometimes going home was easier said than done.
She hoped she wasn’t trading one drama for another.
Chapter Three
Heather pulled onto the shoulder and parked the car next to the mailboxes. She checked the car seat behind her and found her daughter, Hallee, still slumbering, her face soft and sweet. Every time she looked at her little girl, she saw a glimpse of the man she’d loved and lost.
Cars drove by on the main road. She climbed out and inhaled the slightly salty scent in the air, though they were a ways from the beach. She loved it here in Carmel Valley. So much so, she’d never left.
Not like Sierra.
She couldn’t imagine all her sister had been through these last weeks.