My gut says he wanted to stay with me and the boys. That’s why he tried so hard to hide the affair.” Sierra shrugged. “Or he just put off telling me, trying to avoid a fight. That’s what we did . . . avoid things.”
“Been there. Done that.”
She studied Amy. “But you and Rex are back on the same page.”
“And better than ever. The past week or so has been great. We’ve found our way back to each other. I feel like I can go to him with stuff now. He feels like I listen to him now.” Amy smiled. “I’m trying anyway. We both are.”
“The closeness is back.”
“Great sex will do that.” Amy’s bright smile disappeared. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive given what you’re going through.”
“Hey, I like great sex. I just prefer my husband is having it with me.” Sierra couldn’t believe she was able to joke about this, but it felt good to find some humor in all the drag-me-down feelings running through her.
“She really fucked up.”
Sierra took another sip of wine. “Yes, she did. And the thought of running into her, other people finding out and gossiping . . .” She didn’t know if she could take it.
“Fuck them. You know what people are going to be talking about? The fact that you landed the hottest, most eligible bachelor in the state.”
Sierra chuckled. “Mason has been a light in all this dark mess.”
Amy met her gaze. “And you’ve been a light in mine. I’ve missed you. I need you to tell me when I’m turning into a batshit crazy control freak. And”—Amy held up her glass—“who else will have afternoon wine with me?”
“I’m sure Rex would love to sit out here with you sipping wine.”
Amy’s smile softened into a dreamy grin. “I met him for lunch this week. It was so nice to sit together and have a nice meal and talk about anything but the kids.”
“Mason and I really haven’t been together that long—”
Amy waved that away. “You’ve known each other forever.”
“Which is why it’s so easy to be with him. We know each other. We connect. When I’m with him, I’m really happy. Before I knew about”—she circled her hand in the air to encompass the affair and Heather and David without having to say it again—“I felt guilty that I liked being with Mason so much.”
“You felt like you were somehow betraying David.” Amy closed her eyes and shook her head, then opened them. “Don’t. Even without the affair, David would have wanted you to be happy after he died. He wouldn’t have wanted you to stop living your life. He’d want someone for you and the boys. I know that.”
So did Sierra, but now all her thoughts were muddled up with the affair and she second-guessed her memories and what she thought David would say and want for her and the boys.
“Since I found out about the affair, I don’t feel guilty about seeing Mason anymore. After all, David had already left me before he died. Well, I guess I feel a little guilty about being with someone else when the past is so present at the same time.”
Amy leaned forward and put her hand on Sierra’s knee. “Give yourself a break. David died a year ago. You grieved. It’s okay to move on. Just because you know about the affair now doesn’t mean you have to start the process of grieving him and your relationship all over again. The clock doesn’t start over. Yes, process what happened, but don’t sacrifice the happiness you could have with Mason. If you want to be with him, be with him. Love him. Let him love you, Sierra. You deserve it. Don’t let them take that from you.”
“Mason wants us to move in with him.”
“Do it. The best revenge against the ones who hurt you is to live your life, happy and carefree, doing what you love, being with the one you love, and having a great life with your family.”
“Heather is part of my family.”
Amy sat quietly contemplating the scenery, lost in thought. “I don’t know what to do about Heather. I’m angry she hurt you. I want to understand why, but I don’t think anything she says will satisfy that question because who can accept that she was simply selfish and heartless? What she did was despicable. But would I judge her so harshly if she had an affair with a married man we didn’t know? What if the wife was some other