Siren - Hazel Grace Page 0,100

don’t know what waits on the other side. If we’ll be together again or—”

“We will.” She nods profusely. “We have to be. My grandfather is a god, I’ll make it happen.”

I force a grin. “Okay, Princess.”

I kiss her forehead, letting myself feel her skin against my lips for the last time. Breathing in the sea that I’ll never sail on again and the crew that’ll never know what happened to me.

“Be mindful of my uncle,” I mutter against her skin. “I think he’s about to sail this way for Sirens. And I have something to tell you.”

“You kill Sirens to keep me safe,” she replies. “I know.”

I jerk my body a few spaces from her. “How?”

“There’s been talk of a handsome pirate with wavy hair who sails on a ship with gold-rimmed cannons. Wasn’t hard to figure out who that was.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because they’ve already been warned about going past the borders of Lacuna. That we couldn’t protect them if they did. And it was...for the well-being of the kingdom that you did it to keep your uncle away.”

“So you do understand how to keep the kingdom safe,” I lightly jeer.

“Unfortunately.” She squeezes me to her, resting her cheekbone on my chest and listening to me breathe.

“Taysa is gone,” I voice. “She knows what...happened.”

“I’m not ready to let go,” Davina whispers. “You’re everything to me.”

My body starts to involuntarily shake at her words, the outcome of this starting to heighten my anxiety, and I am scared.

I’m terrified that I’ll fall into a dark abyss and never see her again.

Kissing the top of her head, I say, “And you’re more to me.”

I pull her harder to me, giving myself a few more seconds, before breaking from her and placing the gun into her hands.

“Count,” I order. “Right against the temple and don’t miss.” Her fingers wrap around the weapon, but she doesn’t break her gaze from mine.

I might not make it before she pulls the trigger, my heart is thudding so hard in my chest that it’s hard to breathe. Difficult to remain still when I know I won’t be alive for another five minutes.

“Close your eyes,” Davina says, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly. I do what she says, my exhales and inhales inconsistent. “Remember the time you said you couldn’t stand me when I pushed you off your ship.”

I nod but don’t respond. I can’t because my words will come out choked and broken, and I don’t want to make this harder for her than I already know it is.

I’ll miss her.

I’ll miss her eyes and the quirk of her lips. I’ll miss our arguments and the way we promised never to leave each other mad.

I broke that rule when I discovered her with Dagen, but I’m here now, spending my last moment on this Earth with the woman who means the world to me.

“I was afraid if you would’ve kissed me that you would own a piece of me that I’d never get back,” she continues then she sniffles and breaks into a sob. “But you did that anyway. I may have not shown it, but you were that person for me. You were my best friend and protector. You saved my life.”

I bite my lower lip to keep from breaking down. To keep the small amount of courage that I have so that she doesn’t back out of this.

“I love you, you know that? You were such a pain in my side, but I would never change meeting you. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.”

“I love you too,” I whisper. “And—”

Forgiveness.

It’s easier to give to someone else, giving them the responsibility to live with the consequences or fear of losing that said person.

Offering said word to something you’ve done—there’s no running from yourself. It’s constantly flowing through the mind, always something you have to live with while the silent torture starts to eat you alive.

That’s already where I am.

I’ve fallen so deep in a hole of numbness that I can’t fathom facing Taysa and fighting for her sons. I can’t conjure enough energy to do anything other than feel the emptiness of losing both halves of my world.

The man I was in love with and the best friend who was more than a friend, a breathing mechanism to my life.

Living without them is indescribable, empty, and pure torment. It’s almost as though it’s not real. That I’m living in a nightmare that has lasted over the course of two days and I’m not