To Sir, with Love - Lauren Layne Page 0,73

for a fraction of a second, and for a heart-stopping moment, I think he might kiss me. And I know—somehow, I know—that it would be the kiss to ruin all other kisses.

“Your guy,” he says roughly. “Do you love him?”

Considering I was just thinking about Sebastian’s lips on mine, it’s a jarring question.

“Everyone thinks I’m crazy to love someone I haven’t met.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I take a deep breath, wishing I could evade the question I’ve been too terrified to even ask myself. But I care about him and Sir too much not to answer honestly.

“Yes,” I whisper. “But it doesn’t matter. It’s not mutual. He won’t even meet me.”

Sebastian says nothing for several moments, then nods. “I think you should try again.”

He pulls away and holds my gaze for a long moment before stepping back. Shaken, and confused, I climb into the cab. Sebastian waits until I pull my legs and the tail of my coat inside, then closes the door, all gentlemanly politeness.

I lean back against the cushion, barely registering that the cab smells like garlic, or that traffic is surprisingly heavy for this late in the evening. I notice only that Sebastian Andrews doesn’t bother to glance at the cab as he walks away. That he’s just nudged me toward another man.

And that had he asked me a second question: Is it possible to love two people…

I think I’d have had no choice but to say yes.

Twenty-Four

“So, when you said you wanted to come see my progress on the renovation, what you really meant was you wanted to… mope and eat my cheese?” Lily asks, wrestling the cork out of a bottle of sauvignon blanc.

“You always have the best cheese,” I say around a mouthful of baguette topped with something creamy, slightly pungent, and probably very expensive.

“True, but that doesn’t explain the moping.”

“Not moping,” I say, picking up my sister’s water glass and drinking a gulp to wash down the dairy. “Thinking.”

“About?”

“Boys,” I say with a sigh.

“Talk,” she says, pouring me a very generous glass of wine and handing it over. “For someone who’s got a big gallery opening in a week, you’ve got puppy eyes.”

“Well. I like two guys, and neither likes me back.”

“Sebastian and the MysteryMate dude?” She picks up a piece of bread, carefully perusing her cheese options on the board.

“Yup.”

“Well, at that girls’ night, Keva and Robyn seemed pretty sure Sebastian was into you.”

“Sometimes I’ve thought so too,” I say, swirling my wine. “But we had dinner the other night. It felt almost datelike. But then at the end, he told me I should pursue the other guy.”

Lily winces.

“Right?” I say glumly. “It was a pretty clear establishment of the friend zone.”

“So are you going to pursue the other guy?”

I continue to swirl the wine. “I’m scared.”

“That he’s a serial killer?”

I roll my eyes. “That he’ll say no again.”

The second the words are out, I realize that’s not what I’m actually afraid of.

“What if he’s not who I think he is?” I ask my sister. “What if we meet, and there’s zero chemistry, and we have nothing to talk about, and I’m back to being completely single, with no prospects.”

What if I don’t feel with him what I did that day on the sidewalk with Sebastian?

Lily squeezes my knee reassuringly. “Then we’ll put on some Frank, sing ‘That’s Life,’ and keep looking.”

I smile. “I like that plan.”

“Me too.” She pokes my knee. “I’ve missed this. I miss you. I’m glad we’re back.”

“Same. Weird though, isn’t it? That shutting the doors to the store is what brought us all close again? You and I feel a little more us. And I’ve talked to Caleb more than I have in a year—did I tell you he’s coming to the gallery?

“Oh God,” I mutter after another thought. “Is this one more thing I have to be grateful to Sebastian Andrews for? Giving me my family back?”

She tilts her head. “You really like him, huh?”

“I do,” I admit. “And maybe had things been different… but they’re not different, so maybe… maybe Sebastian Andrews and I were meant to be friends?”

“Maybe,” she says with a shrug. “How’s that feel when you say it aloud?”

Inadequate.

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Is this my punishment for being so obsessed with Prince Charming for so long? When he finally comes along, I get two, and neither is interested?”

“Well, you don’t know that your MysteryMate isn’t. And actually…” She taps my knee again. “I’ve just had a thought. Maybe you don’t have