by the end of lunch, he knew he had to level with her.
“Taylor,” he said, when the waitress poured them both iced coffee, “I want to be honest with you. I think you’re the most amazing young woman I’ve ever met. And I have no idea what I’m doing here. I just knew I had to see you today. You knocked me flat on my ass last night.” It was the most honest he’d ever been, and she looked touched.
“I did? I don’t know how, I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. You’re like a breath of fresh air in my life. I’m old enough to be your father, but I feel like a kid with you. Everything about you is so decent and wholesome and alive. I suddenly realize I’ve been dead for twenty years. But there’s something I have to tell you. I have no idea what it means to us, if anything. Or where we go from here, if we do. I’m married. I have been for nineteen years. We have no kids. My wife didn’t want any. She’s an attorney. She’s an extremely bright woman, I’ve always respected her. I’ve never cheated on her, and I don’t think I’ve been honest with myself about our relationship until recently.
“I don’t love her, I don’t even like her. I hate to admit it, but it’s true, and I’m not sure she’s in love with me. I can’t live that way. I haven’t said anything to her, or done anything about it, and I don’t know if I will. And then you walked into my life yesterday. I saw you at the café, and all I want to do now is see you again. But I don’t want to get either of us tangled up in a bad situation. Do you suppose we could just meet for lunch for a while or have coffee until I figure out what I’m doing? I promise you, if I’m going to stay where I am, I won’t see you again. I just don’t know. It’s as honest as I can be with you right now.”
Taylor thought about it for a long moment and nodded. She didn’t want to get into a bad situation either. She had never dated a married man, and she didn’t want to start now. She liked him, but she had thought he was free. At least he had told her the truth. She respected him for it, and she knew it couldn’t have been easy to say.
“I guess that would be okay, if we just do lunch and dinner. I like you,” she said sincerely, “I think you’re a nice man. And no one should be with someone who doesn’t love them. You deserve as much happiness as anyone else.”
“So do you,” he said gently and took her hand in his own. “I promise I’ll figure this out as soon as I can. Maybe nothing will ever happen with us, but I’m grateful just to know you.”
She beamed when he said it. “Me too. And maybe we can just be friends.” Phillip didn’t say it, but that wasn’t how he felt about her. He wanted to make love to her and hold her in his arms. He had never felt about Amanda as he did about this girl. He felt as though he’d been hit by a bolt of lightning the night before.
“I give you my word, Taylor, I’m not going to drag you into a mess. If it’s going to be a mess, I’ll disappear.” She looked sad when he said it, and he brought her fingers to his lips then. “I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured her, “except with you.” He had the strange feeling that Providence had dropped an enormous gift in his lap, and he didn’t want to lose it. He felt like this was meant to be. He paid the check when they were finished, and then looked at her with deep affection. “When am I going to see you again?”
“I don’t know.” She was feeling a little overwhelmed. He was a powerful person, and this was a lot to digest. She would have liked to tell her sister about it, but she wouldn’t approve. A married man? No way. Even just as friends. But she could tell that Phillip wanted to be more than just friends with her, and she was attracted to him. He was a very handsome man, even if he was a little square. But she liked men who looked