respected him. Your father has been gone for fourteen years, Phillip. I’ve worked closely with Peter Williams for longer than that. He was kind to me when your father died, and has given us invaluable advice for all these years. It took me four years to get involved with him after your father died, if it’s any of your business, which it isn’t. He’s lonely, so am I, and he’s seven years younger than I am, not ten. His wife is an alcoholic, and he’s married to her in name only. And we’ve been discreet for ten years. No one ever found out about this but you. It’s not going to hurt our business, I won’t let it, and neither would he.
“And you’re right about one thing, it’s not a shining example of morality in the absolute. But we’re real people, with real lives, with grown children in their thirties and forties. I’m single, and he’s respectful of his wife. I don’t recommend this kind of situation, but it happens. I carry a huge responsibility here, on my shoulders alone, and if the kindness of Peter Williams helps me do that, then it’s a compromise I’ve decided to make. It took me a long time to make that decision, and I did. It’s not ideal, I’ll agree with you on that. But we’re human beings, and the ideal isn’t always possible. He’s never going to leave his wife, out of respect for her, and we’re not flagrant about this.
“I’m old, Phillip. I work hard, I always have. And if this gives us both some comfort in our later years, then so be it. You don’t get to decide what’s right for me or not. You can decide that for yourself. We all make compromises. You’ve decided it’s enough to be married to a woman who behaves like an iceberg and gives you precious little comfort, from what I can see. And I’ve had an affair for ten years with a married man. I was faithful to your father to his dying day and for years after. In all the ways that matter, I still am. I loved him when he was alive and I still do. And if this is what I choose to do, it is entirely up to me, not to you. The compromises you make in your life in order to make it work are your business. This is mine. It’s a compromise, but sometimes that’s a decision that one makes. I owe you no explanations, and I’m not going to discuss this further with you. Don’t try to cast aspersions on my behavior when I was married to your father—that won’t fly. And if you don’t like what I’m doing now, then I’m sorry. But that’s the end of it. The discussion stops right here.”
Her son was standing across the desk from her where Peter had been a moment before, and Phillip was shaking with rage. “I stand by what I said a few minutes ago. You’re a hypocrite. I don’t know if you were faithful to my father, I hope so for his sake. But you’re no saint, Mother. You’re the mistress of a married man. I don’t care if his wife is an alcoholic, that makes no difference. He’s married and you’re sleeping with him. He works for us. You’re sleeping with the help. So don’t lecture me.” He didn’t deny what she’d said about Amanda, but he was only thinking about Peter. And he was outraged that his mother was having an affair. Olivia couldn’t help wondering if it really made a difference to him that Peter was married—maybe he just couldn’t tolerate the idea of his mother sleeping with someone other than his father. He was very black and white in his ideas, and she always had been too, but the situation had changed over the years, and she and Peter loved each other, in a quiet way.
“I’m going to forget everything you just said. I’m not proud of what I’m doing, but I’m not ashamed of it either. It is what it is. Two people who need each other and have the weight of the world on their shoulders. We work hard, and derive a little comfort from each other. It keeps us going on the bad days, and there are a lot of those in this business, or any business. We’re not hurting anyone. I’m sorry if it upsets you, but we’re all grown-ups here, even you. You’re forty-six years