studying the side of Zachary’s face until I catch Gabriel looking at me.
Adrenaline spikes through me, leaving me tingling and panicked as it recedes. For the rest of the sermon, I keep my eyes locked on Gabriel, but he never once looks in my direction again.
His sermon feels like it lasts for hours. Hours I spend debating my position in this invisible battle raging between the Brotherhood and Father Gabriel.
Finally, we end in the Father’s Prayer and begin communion. In Redford, only a handful of people would go up—those that wanted to partake.
I guess they do things differently here. Here, everyone partakes. And as more and more people file out of their pews, I get the feeling it’s compulsory.
Gabriel and Zachary make just the right amount of eye contact. Their exchange seems as normal as the one before and after. Gabriel glances up from his paten of bread and locks eyes with me.
He says nothing as he holds out the body of Christ. I lean forward, open my mouth, and let him place the bread on my tongue.
“It’s good to see you again, my child.”
I stay silent, too scared my voice will shake if I return the greeting.
It could be the play of light on his face, but I swear he frowns at me before smoothing his expression.
The sip of wine he gives me from the chalice tastes like ash.
“You coming?” Jasper asks when I don’t take his hand.
“Not yet.”
He scowls at me, sends a withering look Zachary’s way, and stalks out of the chapel like Satan is nipping at his heels.
I stay in my seat, watching Gabriel through my lashes. Instead of immediately exiting the stage like he does after morning prayers, he weaves through the loitering students and staff clasping a hand here, patting a shoulder here, murmuring, “Child this, child that.”
When it becomes obvious he’s ignoring me, I stand up and make my way to the aisle. I’m dimly aware of Zachary from my peripheral view. He’s still seated, head bowed over a standard-issue bible as if he’s contemplating the word of God before heading off to breakfast.
Gabriel is talking with Sister Miriam when I come up behind him. Miriam sees me and frowns, but I stand my ground. Gabriel turns with a small frown between his thick, dark eyebrows. When he spots me, his face lights up.
Then he turns back to Miriam. “If you’ll excuse us, Sister.”
Miriam nods, but from the way she adjusts her habit as she leaves, it’s clear what she thinks about me interrupting their conversation.
“Are you well?” Gabriel asks, reaching for me.
I sidestep his hand before I can catch myself, and instantly regret it when his smile fades and his frown returns deeper than before.
“Is something wrong, child?”
“Of course not, no,” I blurt out. I can’t seem to stop wringing my hands. “But, if you’re not busy, I’d like to, I mean, could we talk?”
“Certainly.” He reaches for my elbow as if to steer me somewhere private, but I step back again.
“Dinner. Um…could we have dinner again?”
His frown deepens. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
I’m itching to get away from his x-ray eyes. I’ve never been able to lie to him, and I don’t think that will ever change. “Tonight?”
“I’m afraid I already have plans with—” He waves away whatever he’d been going to say. A broad smile replaces his frown, and I hate the fact that it makes me feel warm inside.
“I would love nothing more.”
“Thank you, Father.”
He watches me with that same enigmatic smile as I strut away on stiff legs.
I don’t dare look up until sunlight hits my face. The relief I was expecting doesn’t arrive. I could be looking over the side of a cliff.
Why does it feel like I’ve just set a date with the Devil?
Chapter Twenty
Zach
Fabric whisks. Cass slips into the lair, his eyebrows twitching when he sees me on my chair, smoking a cigarette. I guess he expected me to be sulking in the dark, fighting my demons.
“Didn’t get enough of me yesterday?” he asks, face pinched tight as he walks past and sticks his head into the bedroom. Making sure we’re alone? “And here I thought we were trying to be circumspect.”
“We set up this place for a reason. No one would think to look—”
“Might as well install a fucking revolving door at this rate.” He comes back in my direction and snatches the cigarette from my lips before I can take another drag.
Ash scatters onto his jeans as he collapses on the couch,