The Sinners of Saint Amos - Logan Fox Page 0,31

Jasper, just like I didn’t bother getting undressed for bed last night, or showering, or even washing my face.

What’s the point anyway?

“Hey, are you sick or something?”

“Sure,” I mumble back. “Let’s go with that.”

Jasper mutters something under his breath before stomping out of the room. Thankfully, he closes the door behind him—I don’t know if I have the energy to go after him and close it.

Minutes later, the prayer bell sounds.

I don’t regret anything I said last night. I should…but I don’t.

I can’t remember how long I spent in Father Gabriel’s room, in his arms. I know at some stage he lit a cigarette. That smell drove me out of myself just long enough to get to my feet and finally make it out of his room.

I walked the halls for a while. Half lost and panicking, half not giving a fuck if I ever found my way again.

But I eventually arrived back here in this little cubbyhole of a room. I climbed onto my bed, rolled myself in my blankets, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

That was a century ago. Or mere minutes.

Time is something that happens to other people.

The bedroom door opens, thumping against the wall.

I don’t even flinch.

“You’re sick?” Sister Miriam says from the doorway.

I consider the consequences of being as rude to her as I was to Jasper.

Not worth it.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“Do you have a fever?”

“Yes.”

Shoes clomp over the tiles. An icy hand clamps over my forehead. This time I do flinch, and I even manage to scramble up and move away from that hand.

Sister Miriam studies me for a moment. “You’ve been crying.”

No fucking duh. Did my swollen eyes give it away?

“Come. Get up.”

I shake my head. “Please, I’ll go to class. I just…I just need to sleep for a little longer.”

“You will get up now. You will wash. You will eat breakfast with the others.”

I wish I could spontaneously burst into tears right now. I’m not sure if it would help, but I’ve got to believe even someone as cold-hearted as Sister Miriam might be moved by the sight of tears.

Fuck, who am I kidding? Anyone who works in a place like this has got to be immune to shit like that by now.

I’m sure that’s the only way people stay sane around here.

I obviously took too long to answer her. Her mouth twisting into a sour grimace, Miriam darts forward, catches hold of the shoulder of my dress, and drags me out of bed.

“That wasn’t a request, Miss Malone.”

Miss Malone.

She hauls open my closet and takes down one of the hangers. The next moment, I’m clutching a brown dress to my chest.

It’s not as thick as the one I’m wearing. This is normal fabric. Still stiff, but in a way that suggests it hasn’t been through the wash enough times to be soft.

A new dress, made just for me.

It should make me happy, even superficially, but instead all I can think about is how ashamed I was last night. Sitting there in a heap on Gabriel’s floor.

Did Reuben tell anyone?

Does someone like him even have friends to gossip with?

Miriam draws back the sleeve of her habit to check a dainty wristwatch. On her, it looks like the string on a roll of salami.

“You have half an hour. Plenty of time to wash up and get down to breakfast.” Her eyes narrow. “I’ll know if you don’t show. I’ll know if you don’t eat. Don’t test me, Miss Malone. You’ll regret it.”

I scowl after her as she leaves. I believe her—after all, she knew I was playing sick.

Jasper.

He must have said something to her.

I’m going to kill him.

Fuck his grades. I don’t care if he fails. In fact, I hope he has to repeat the entire year. Maybe then he’ll think twice about snitching on someone.

I head for the showers, but I don’t make it all the way. A few yards from the door, I can already hear the commotion inside. I don’t know how many boys are in there, but even one would have been too many. Is night the only time I stand a chance to shower alone?

This is such bullshit.

I go back to my room and flop down on my bed. When the bell rings for breakfast, I lay there for a few seconds before my brain wills my body into action.

Self-preservation in action.

I drag off my old dress and slip into the new one. I really need a shower, but I’ll wait until tonight. In the meantime, the smell of