The Sinners of Saint Amos - Logan Fox Page 0,125

hands balled in fists. Gabriel doesn’t seem surprised by the sudden vehemence in my voice when I say, “And what is it that you see, Father?”

He steps closer, until there’s barely a foot between us.

“I see a lonely young man who turned to a friend for comfort.”

His hand lands on my shoulder, but I dip away from him and stumble back. My jaw clenches so hard, I don’t think I could have spoken if I tried.

“It’s something I’ve seen a hundred times, if not more. And while it’s perfectly understandable, it’s still a sin.”

Is he talking about the basement? Back then we only had each other. Where else could we have found comfort but in each other’s arms? There was nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it.

Nothing.

Gabriel follows me, face neutral but his cast with deep shadows.

Cunning, shrewd, cautious.

So careful not to reveal anything.

“I know you, Zachary.”

And there it is, bare and naked. He knows me. Gabriel’s known about us all along.

“Then you know I’ve known you for a long time too,” I growl, no longer bothering to disguise any element of my true self. “So why do we keep playing these childish games?”

Suddenly, there’s hesitation in Gabriel’s eyes. And when I step closer, it’s his turn to step back.

Dancing with each other.

Parrying. Attacking.

Like we’ve practiced this altercation in our minds for years.

I know I have. Why wouldn’t he?

They say strangling is an act of passion. I can’t agree more. I’m in love with the thought of snuffing out the Guardian’s life with my bare fucking hands. So much so, my fingers itch to be around his throat.

He lifts his chin, his gaze wavering before his mouth sets in a hard line. “You don’t know anything, child. You’re dealing with malevolent forces you can’t begin to understand.”

Too fast, he grabs me. We’re against each other but with bodies bristling—repelling each other like same-pole magnets.

“I know exactly what I’m dealing with,” I grit out as I scour his eyes for the truth. For his genuine self. But before I can find anything, he grabs the back of my neck and digs his fingers into my flesh.

A shudder courses through me, and I hate myself in that moment more than I ever have before.

I used to think I was a sadomasochist. That I enjoyed both inflicting and receiving pain.

But that’s not the case.

I simply endure pain in return for others allowing me to inflict it on them.

His hard grip rouses a sexual tension in me—not because I enjoy the pain he inflicts, but because I know that soon—so much sooner than I’d thought—he’ll be at my mercy.

A mercy his Ghosts eradicated from me years ago.

“Don’t act like you hate me,” Gabriel murmurs. “I am you. And you are me.”

“I’m nothing like you!” I yell. I fist his t-shirt in my hand. “I’ll never be like you!”

He tsks me as he searches my face, a fond smile stretching his mouth. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, child.” He licks his lips, and on instinct I lick mine. “You can only hate yourself for so long. Then there’s nothing left to do but forgive.”

I should have seen it coming, but I’m so wrapped up in my own hateful thoughts that his mouth is against mine before I can push him away.

Though that contact is brief, the outrage of his unsolicited touch rips through me like an electro-magnetic blast.

“The fuck?” I stagger back from him, wiping my mouth with the back of a shaking hand. My disgust is mirrored on his face.

He tilts his head to the side and blinks slowly at me. “So you can fuck a man, but you can’t bear to kiss one?”

He walks up to me. I fall back with a warning growl he ignores.

“It might feel like less of a sin, but trust me, son, it’s not.”

My back hits the wall.

Gabriel stops a few feet away, sliding his hands behind his back.

“God has already condemned us both to hell.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

Trinity

I should be in the laundry room doing chores, but with four days left till the end of term, I doubt anyone’s going to lay down the law on a rainy Monday afternoon.

So instead I’m in my room, considering sneaking into the shower room.

I feel dirty after what Zachary did to me.

How he made me feel.

And while there’s nothing I can do about my filthy mind, the least I can do is wash the feel of him off my body.

After what happened yesterday with Cass in the