"Smith aren't you a little on the wrong side of the road."
"I rather think not."
"I think you are. There's a car coming."
"He seems to have more than his share."
"But you're on the wrong side Smith."
"Nonsense this vehicle approaching obviously contains a road hog."
"This is my car. You're on the wrong side of the road."
"Please Miss Tomson I'm present commander of this tank. Stubborn rascal. If he thinks for one second I'm going to swerve to avoid his oncoming rush he has one vast foolish figment of his imagination to endure."
"No. George."
"Get into your own lane you wretch."
"O no."
Squeal of tires. Crumpling of steel fabric. Abrupt meeting of bumpers fenders and headlamps. Lights go out and on again. To illuminate this complicated outing. And eight cylinder concussion.
Small curly headed man ejecting himself onto the road. Falls. Slowly picking himself up, wiping the wet from his person. Raising an outstretched finger pointing as he advances in the glaring head lights and plummeting rain.
"Jesus Christ Miss Tomson, you're quite right I'm on the wrong side of the road. Let me handle this." the wrong side of the road. Let me handle "First it's my dog. Now it's my car."
"Just leave this to me Miss Tomson."
George Smith drawing a card from his wallet Handing it out through an opened inch of window to the curly headed man momentarily stopping his cascade of words bordering on vituperation. The man reading in the cloudburst.
DEAF MUTE — WATCH MY SIGNS.
"Come on mister. Hey lady, who's going to pay for die damage to my car. You were right on the wrong side of the road."
Smith handing out another card. Man holding it up in his wavering headlights.
LADY IS MUTE BUT CAN HEAR.
"Jesus Christ lady. Make him a sign language will you. Who's going to pay for the damage. What's this country coming to, guy's out on the road, can't talk, can't hear. O.K. I know it's a crying shame to be without voice and that kind of affliction but who's paying for the damage."
HAVE YOU EVER FOOLED AROUND IN THE HORSE LATITUDES.
"Hey lady, read this while I'm getting soaked, see what he's said to me. I'm going to get the cops. Let's see your license."
I WILL THRASH YOU FROM COAST TO COAST
"You don't scare me buddy. Where's your license. Yeah, that's it, how can you have one if you're afflicted. Signal him that lady. Who's going to pay for the damage. I don't want any more of these messages. Who's going to pay. Just let me get your number."
Smith emitting a long low squeal, body in animal motion, canines showing, hands flashing up stretched in claws. Curly headed man jumping back from the car. Smith switched into gear. Dousing lights. Press down on the pedal. Miss Tomson's car leaping forward. A cry behind them. Roaring off in the dark down the rainy road. In the mirror the rear red glow of lights of the crash victim.
"Smith what are you doing."
"We must flee."
"You bastard if he's got my number I'm in prison for life. Police will be looking for us. He'll come after us."
"If he tries to turn around in that road he'll be in the mud for months."
"Front of the car must be ruined. I'm scared."
"Gende dents, absolutely have them put right for you. I am sorry about this. We'll take this turning. Looks a friendly, empty road. I don't want to alarm you further Miss Tomson but I think we might best get both the car and ourselves in out of the rain."
Miss Tomson sitting eyes cast down. Hands folded quietly in her lap. Poor sorrowful girl. On a stormy night like this. Back in those days when she sat at her desk in Golf Street. Taking odd items of paper out of her drawers, which she slowly tore up. Then sat thinking hard. Until she would pick up her phone to call the hairdressers or Goliath at the kennels to whom she went woof woof, sweetie. With the marble replica of Miss Tomson on my tomb I will add Goliath on a leash. Have a little elevator to raise me up and down to view them once in awhile. Hello Sally, hi ya Goliath. Then get lowered to rest again. All automatic. Never need stir. Now she's next to me a few fabrics away. A good sport about the crash. Didn't even ask to drive. Touch her now and I will light up like electric. All so sweet heart. Pain in