"They saw you sneaking, don't worry. My friends know. Your phoney little cultivated habits."
"I reject that."
"Mosaics all over your stupid house. How they let you in The Game Club I don't know. And trying to make some baronial hall sowing trees up our drive. My friends were wise to that, don't you worry. Can't find my things. I want the light on."
"You came in in the dark you go out with all lights off."
"You rat. I'm glad I can't see your face. It's the only way I could bear you fucking me."
"I think perhaps you've said enough."
"Tell me to get out. And I'm going."
"Splendid. Bring your little playmates downstairs with you."
"You bet I will. You'll hear from my legal counsel."
"Can't wait."
"My friends are better than you are and I'd like to know where all that other money goes. And I'll find out. You can't kid my lawyer, he's smart."
"Since I pay for him I'm glad to hear that."
"I ought to have half of what you possess."
"Ha ha."
"Go ahead and laugh. Where's my purse. You'll be laughing. Boy you'll be laughing. FU make you laugh. You'll laugh all right. Boy you'll be laughing."
"Ha ha."
"Laugh all you want. Go ahead. But I'll squeeze you dry."
Across the room somewhere in the dark there was the momentary silence. Four hoots of that snowy owl. And summer comes back and the tangled worms squirming in the white silk nets they weave in wild cherry trees.
"George, George, what terrible things am I saying."
"You were saying, boy, you'll be laughing,, And I'll squeeze you dry."
"George, I'm scared and shivering. What's making me shiver. Turn on the lights. I'm scared the things I'm saying."
"Can't you find your purse."
"No George and I'm scared. Don't throw me out. I didn't mean that about legal counsel."
"Forget it."
"George, I can't. What about the kids. God legal counsel. Don't make me go to court George."
"I'm not making you go to court."
"They'll scream down at me. I know they'll scream down at me. A judge with white hair. He'll eat up my soul George."
"Don't be silly."
"Never make me go before a judge, George. As you lie there now promise me that. I'm scared. Let me sit. I'd be accused. The judge would accuse me and it would be horrible."
Can see the shadow of her hair. See the shoulders she covers with her shirt. And I know she's breaking right in two. Tears pouring down her cheeks. Wait and the sniff and sob will come. Shirl all women cry. The lousy life. But outlive men. I mean you no harm. Let no judge get you. Even on judgement day. When all the country yokels are clustering in the trees and I step down the steps of my tomb. To cheers. Remember under the snow lies summer. Done that for a lot of years. Can sit then sucking a straw of grass and it hardly matters nearly that one is in society. Or that I went out in the world ruthlessly. Maybe sneaking across the tracks. Shirl you're crying. I could cry too. I went so far in the snow today. Walked back along the tracks in the road where it was hard. Thinking so much about the silence you hold like a child's hand and it was all up over the hills. I came last night when it was snowing. A rich man. The papers said it would be crisp and cold. At the Junction it began to snow. I was hurt when the train left. I hate anything to leave. Stay. Stay longer. I only told you to get out because it was a fiasco. Paper hats and jumping bodies in the lobby. Tell me nice things and I'll believe them forever. Shirl don't cry. What harm really for a fast one and for you to run down and meet your friends and go out speeding over the snowy roads and even sit on a stranger's knee. Why should I mind. Except that I suppose I have no friends. Save one old one standing staring at me at some excavation site when I ran. So Shirl little girl. Dry up your eyes. I've got your purse here under my pillow. And now I'll give it back. Made of mesh like your slipper. And you can go away then. Out to friends. I think you're right, the only time traffic will ever stop for me.
Is when
I'm dead.
6
CHRISTMAS eve. And this Monday morning George Smith