I want to feel healthy. Strong. Confident. But I want to be those things while also eating a fucking donut when I want to.
My phone buzzes from its spot on the floor, and I reach over as inconspicuously as possible to glance at the screen. It’s a message from Jake, and my impulsive excitement to see what he has to say almost throws me completely off-balance.
A few of the other class-takers notice, but they mostly pretend to mind their business as I pull the phone onto my mat and directly under my body to safely read it without falling flat on my face.
Jake: Weirdest thing happened this morning. I almost drowned in the ocean.
Unable to stop myself, I quickly type out a reply.
Me: What??? Are you serious???
My phone vibrates again almost immediately.
Jake: Oh, wait. No, I didn’t. I got confused. That’s something you do.
Sarcastic bastard. I snort to myself and send an equally sarcastic response back.
Me: Pretty sure I only do that when I’m trying to save YOUR ass from drowning.
Jake: Fair enough. How’s your morning?
Me: I’m at yoga right now.
Jake: You take yoga? Why is this news?
Me: Probably because you don’t really know me. And because I haven’t been in several months. Now leave me alone so I can pay attention to my yoga instructor, Judy.
Jake: You’re in the middle of yoga RIGHT NOW?
When I look up, the rest of the class has moved on from Downward-Facing Dog, and I look like a lunatic still hanging out in this position.
Shit.
After I ignore his message so I can move into Warrior Pose, a smile crests my lips as I think about what Jake might be up to right now. By this time of morning, he’s probably on a jobsite somewhere, giving Matt and Johnny or some other crew member a hard time.
The man likes to tease and have fun, that’s for damn sure.
My phone vibrates on my mat again, and as much as I want to read it, I know I shouldn’t. Which is why I kick it over to my pile of stuff and settle into Camel Pose.
From here, all I can do is count the ceiling tiles anyway. I’ll read the rest of his messages and respond when class is over.
When Judy moves on to some of the more complicated poses like Cow Face Pose and Bakasana, it becomes startlingly clear how much my time off has impacted me.
Especially, but not limited to, my face. I really used to be able to support myself with my arms, but hot damn, they just snapped like twigs and moved right out from under me.
“Ow,” I mouth as I push back up from wrecking directly into the pink material of my mat. I look like a plane that took a nose dive into a mountain, and I have to work my jaw to get the kink out of it.
Damn, I’m going to have to put some serious work in to get back in shape enough to handle the advanced classes I used to take.
Judy wraps things up by bringing us back to Child’s Pose and walking us through the meditation steps that focus solely on controlling our breathing.
I take the opportunity to officially let go of the weight of the past—at least, most of it.
It’s high time I start thinking about myself now. Looking for the things I want and going after them.
Once the class is dismissed, Jake’s unread messages pop directly into my mind, and I grab my phone and read through them before cleaning and packing up.
Jake: I guess you are then, huh? Ha-ha.
Jake: I’m trying to picture you doing yoga, and I’m not sure I can.
Jake: Wait. You know what? Now, I can. I get it. It definitely fits. What else do you do that I don’t know about, Holley from the Tribune?
Shaking my head on a laugh, I toss my phone into my bag and slip my socks and tennis shoes back onto my feet.
After I wipe down my mat with cleaner and paper towels and pack up the rest of my belongings, I wave goodbye to Judy and Gina and head for my car.
Once inside, I take out my phone and get ready to answer him. There’s already another one from him waiting.
Jake: Matt is wondering when you’re going to be at our next job. I told him you had very important inspector duties to tend to. I’m not sure if he believed me.