All I can do now is be me and tell Jake the truth.
“Come on,” I say with a smile. “Let’s get your makeup done.”
Chloe laughs again in the back seat, ever entertained by Phil as I sink my head into my hands and try not to cry. He’s been a one-man show for the last half hour on our way to the venue, filling the ride with tales of my misadventures as a child and beyond. The one good thing I can say for it is that until this moment, it’s kept me pretty distracted from the shitshow I’m about to walk into.
Phil leans over and grabs my hands, pulling them away from my eyes as I feel the car rock to a stop. His smile is kind and loving and confirms without a shadow of a doubt that distraction is exactly what he was going for.
“Don’t know much about makeup, but I figure it probably don’t like your hands all over it, girl.”
I sigh and laugh at the same time. “Probably not. Does it still look okay?” Phil surveys me closely, but when it becomes frighteningly clear that he’s not going to be able to give me a credible answer, I turn to face Chloe.
She nods enthusiastically. “You look terrific.”
I smile my thanks and let out a deep exhale. “I guess it’s go time, then.”
I grab the handle of my door and open it, and from the sound of things, both my dad and Chloe do the same. Careful to pull the train of my dress away first, I slam the door shut and turn to face the venue—The Fleet Science Center at Balboa Park.
The building has a Spanish flair, with a whitewashed stone exterior and a red tile roof, but to tell you the truth, all it really looks like to me right now is intimidating.
I was already feeling nervous enough. Declaring your feelings for a man who is quite possibly the best, most attractive guy in the universe in a roomful of people who expect him to date other women is ominous all on its own. Add in a possible unplanned pregnancy? Yeah, I might faint.
My dad rounds the car and takes my arm, gesturing for Chloe to do the same on the other side, and I have to admit, even in the middle of my breakdown, the action makes me smile.
When he starts to walk, I have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other and do the same.
Ready or not, here we go.
Jake
Wanting to make a production of the big reveal, the paper has been kind enough to keep me barricaded off in a side room in the venue, while the party guests gather on the other side of the glass wall that looks into the main space.
SoCal Tribune pulled out all the stops tonight. Flowers, photographer, and food, they didn’t hold back on the big Bachelor Anonymous reveal.
Normally, I’d be running in the other direction to be a part of something so insane, but tonight is important.
Seeing Holley is a necessity. Telling her how I feel, really truly feel, about her is just as important as fucking oxygen for my survival.
And I’m wearing a suit, which feels weird, but tonight required a balls-to-the-wall, put-everything-on-the-line kind of mind-set.
I’m certain of what I should have known weeks ago—I’m in love with her. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I also know that, for me, the sound of her laughter is one of the single greatest things I’ve heard in my entire life.
I know that when she smiles, my heart does a flip inside my chest, and when she hurts, I hurt more than I’ve ever hurt.
I know that I think of her when I wake up, and I think of her when I go to sleep, and I know that sending my daughter to her house tonight—taking the chance on welcoming her into my daughter’s life—has been one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made.
Chloe’s right. She fits. Not just me, but us, and I swear to God I’ll do everything in my power tonight to make sure she believes me when I tell her.
A woman in a low-cut dress winks through the glass wall, so I turn to face the other direction immediately.
By God, the last thing I need is another one.
As chance would have it, the movement is almost cosmically ordained, happening at just the right time to clear my line of sight to the