Silent Killer Page 0,110
virgin. Actually, she’d bet money on it. How could she explain to him about his mother having sex with a man who wasn’t her husband?
An old adage instantly came to mind. Honesty is the best policy.
“Yes, Jack spent the night with me.”
“You do know that everybody in town is talking about it, don’t you? Some neighbor of yours called Grandmother this morning, and she couldn’t wait to come over and tell Nana.”
“Gossip travels fast, especially juicy gossip.”
“I don’t like my mother being gossiped about that way.”
“I’m sorry if Jack spending the night with me has caused you any embarrassment, but what I do in my personal life is nobody’s business.”
“It’s my business. You’re my mother.”
“Yes, I’m your mother and I love you, and because of those two facts, I’d prefer to have your approval. Jack and I are going be seeing a lot of each other. We’re officially dating.”
“Dating. Is that what you call it? He spent the night.”
“Yes, he did.”
“You had sex, didn’t you?”
“Yes, we did.”
Groaning, Seth shook his head, then turned from her and forked his fingers through his thick brown hair. “What if I said that I don’t want you seeing him again?” He lifted his gaze hesitantly.
She looked right at him. “I love you more than anything, Seth. I’d do anything for you, but you’re a fifteen-year-old boy. You’re the child, and I’m the adult. I have no intention of allowing you to issue orders to me, to tell me who I can and cannot date.”
“Yeah, well, go ahead and date whoever you damn well please, but don’t expect me to like it. I thought I wanted to come live with you, but if he’s going to be around all the time, I might change my mind and stay with Granddaddy and Nana.”
So there it was, the thing she had feared the most. Her own son was blackmailing her to get his way. The thought of losing him to his grandfather unnerved her, but she could not allow him to get away with bullying her. She had walked that path with her mother and her father-in-law and even sometimes with Mark. She wanted her son to be a better person, to be the man she knew he could be.
“I want you to live with me,” she told him, keeping her voice far calmer than she felt. “But if you prefer to stay with your grandparents, then that’s what you should do. Jack and I are going to be seeing quite a bit of each other. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but he and I have a right to find out.” She searched Seth’s eyes, hoping to see even a glimmer of understanding. “I have a right to be happy, don’t I?”
“Does he make you happy?”
“Yes, he does. He makes me very happy.”
“I heard Nana ask Grandmother if he was the guy you were in love with when you were a teenager. Grandmother said he was and that he was wrong for you then and he’s still wrong for you. Were you in love with him before you married Dad?”
“Yes. Jack was my first love.” And my first lover.
“Did you love him more than you loved Dad?”
“Oh, Seth.”
“Did you?”
“I loved Mark in a different way.”
“Did Dad know about him?”
“Yes, Mark knew all about Jack, just as I knew all about his first wife. Your father and I didn’t have any secrets from each other.”
Seth stood there, sulky and quiet, his eyes wide and an angry flush on his cheeks. “Does Jack Perdue mean more to you than I do?”
“No one means more to me than you do. Don’t you know that?”
“But you do love him, don’t you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. We’re just getting to know each other again.”
“Does he love you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think even he knows for sure.”
“He could wind up hurting you. He could break your heart.”
“Yes, he could. And I could break his heart, too.” We did that to each other years ago, and there are no more guarantees now than there had been then. “It’s a risk you take when you go into a relationship, when you open yourself up to care about someone. I think maybe you might know a little something about that.”
“Huh?” He looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face.
“Am I wrong about your liking Missy Hovater?”
“Jeez, Mom, Missy and I are just friends.”
“But you’d like for there to be more between you, and if it doesn’t work out and she