“Ah, I dunno, I can’t think of anything. It seems wrong to be asking sex questions at this hour of the morning.”
“I’ve got a good one,” Blake butted in. “Have you ever...walked in on your parents having sex?”
Rose shot him an annoyed look while Alicia let out a sound of disgust. “Ew, Blake, just no. That question is gross.”
“Hey, you picked the topic,” he said, smiling widely before glancing around at each of us. “Yay or nay? I have to admit I’ve never had the honour myself, but then again, my old man was pushing seventy when my parents had me. Mum was his fourth wife and almost thirty years his junior, the dirty old bastard.”
“Wow, that’s some age gap,” said Alicia. “And yes, unfortunately, that has happened to me. My brothers and I were supposed to be away all day at the county fair, but when we got there, my younger brother and his friends thought it would be hilarious to throw blue slushy all over my dress. My entire outfit was ruined, so I had to go home early. The cherry on the cake of that awful day was walking inside my living room to find my parents going at it on the couch.” She paused to shake off a shudder. “Some things you just can’t unsee.” She turned to nudge my shoulder. “What about you, Damon?”
I scratched my head and furrowed my brow. “I was very young, probably under five. I went inside my parents’ bedroom searching for one of my toys, and all I saw was them both on the bed, scrambling to cover themselves. It’s only looking back that I can see what was actually happening.”
Alicia gave me sad goo-goo eyes and patted my shoulder a second time as she laughed. “You poor baby.”
“Yours sounds far more traumatising. At least I was too young to put two and two together,” I said.
“True.” Alicia cast her attention to Rose. “So, I guess you’re one of the lucky ones who never walked on their parents horizontal, then?”
Rose reached up to rub at a red spot on her neck, and I noticed how uncomfortable she seemed. Then I remembered her telling me of her mother’s unconventional relationship, and I realised why she was looked so ill at ease. “No, actually, I have. Too many times to mention. My, um, my mother was bisexual. When I was growing up, I lived in a house with her and her three lovers. They were polyamorous. That’s how I know Julian – his mum and mine were involved.”
“That’s fucking hot,” said Blake, the twat. Seriously, had he no tact?
“I’ve told you about it before.” Rose frowned at him.
Blake seemed caught off guard. “Maybe I was, uh, not myself when you told me.”
“Sounds pretty traumatising,” said Alicia sympathetically.
Rose shrugged. “I was a kid. I just kind of accepted my reality.” She looked sad, and I wanted to comfort her so badly right then that it took a physical effort not to reach between the seats and pull her close.
“Since I answered no, does this mean I get to ask the next question as well?” Blake interrupted, probably eager to change the subject.
“Go for it,” Alicia told him.
“Okay, let me think,” he said, and I thought I could see some hidden agenda behind his eyes. “Have you ever had sex in the shower?”
There was a pause that felt awkward, mostly because Rose was blushing as she glanced at him sideways. Ah, fuck, they’d had shower sex, hadn’t they? That was clearly the reason Blake asked the question. I kept my hand down while all three of my companions raised theirs.
“Do you know what?” said Alicia. “Totally fucking over-rated. I mean, I know in the movies they get to take some measure of artistic licence, but in real life, shower sex is just awful. First, it’s uncomfortable, second, there’s soap everywhere, meaning you’re in danger of slipping and injuring yourself, and third, well, I won’t go into detail, but water does not make for good lubrication.”
She must have been speaking a little too loudly, because at the mention of lubrication Jacob’s head spun around. He sent Alicia a perplexed look, and a comical beat of silence elapsed before he turned back, continuing the conversation he was having with his assistant. I stifled a laugh, but the humour I found in the moment quickly vanished when Blake spoke huskily.
“Mine and Rosie’s experience was a shared one.”
Rose’s posture stilled, and I didn’t think I’d ever seen her