Oz laughs and then smiles slowly. “Lube’s in my jean pocket.”
“Really? You’re like some sort of very strange scout.”
He shakes his head. “I was never very good at group activities.”
I put him down on the floor and dash over to his jeans, rifling through his pockets. I find what seems like twenty thousand lists and then exclaim in triumph when I find the gold packet. “Ta-da!”
He pretends to clap, and I pace back to him, feeling his gaze run over me hotly and fix on my cock which is standing straight up, ready for action. I fist it and give myself a couple of strokes. “You want it?”
He nods. “And now, so move quickly.”
I grin and pounce on him, taking him down on the sofa which has embroidered cushions that my great-grandmother stitched. I wonder whether I should be bothered by this but then remember how Henry and I were convinced that she was a witch and dismiss the thought in favour of spreading my lover’s legs and nestling between them.
I start to grind against him, feeling my pre-come slick the way. He groans and seizes my face between his callused palms. “I love you,” he gasps, kissing me feverishly.
“I love you too.” I open the sachet and coat my fingers and send them flirting over his hole. He throws his head back and moans when I slowly insert my index finger. But then we both freeze as the door handle jiggles.
“Oh, shit,” Oz whispers.
“I’m so sorry,” I hear June say. “I can’t imagine why this door is locked.”
“What the fuck?” I hiss. “I thought you were sure.”
“Seventy percent,” he says, and grins. “Don’t worry. The door’s locked. Come back down here.”
“Are you quite mental?” I ask, pulling back. “There are approximately fourteen old ladies outside the door. I know they can’t get in, but—”
“Not to worry,” June’s voice comes cheerily through the door. “I have a key here, so I can let us in.”
“Shit!” Oz says and shoves me away so quickly that I land with a thump on the rug. We both freeze but all we can hear are the jingle of keys and June’s assurances that she’s sure she’s found the key.
“Oh, my God.” I jump to my feet. “Do something.”
The next minute two things happen. June exclaims victoriously and a key slides into the lock, and Oz grabs me and pushes me into the stationery cupboard. He’s only just in time because as the door closes, we hear the study door open and the noise of excited OAP chatter.
“Phew!” Oz whispers, grinning at me. “That was fucking close.”
“You think? Oz, what are we missing?” He stares at me, so I elaborate in a whisper. “Are you a bit cold? What have we left outside?”
“Oh my God,” he says, trying not to laugh. “Our clothes are out there.”
“Yes. You’d better fucking pray that June doesn’t have a key for this door and no old lady has a burning fucking desire to see an earl’s stationery.”
He chuckles and cups my package. “This is all mine. No one gets to see you when you’re stationary.”
I try not to laugh but fail as always with him. “You know very well what I meant.”
We both jump as a querulous voice comes from next to our hiding place. “Why are there clothes all over the room?”
There’s a pause, and then June says hesitantly, “Well, the earl does use all these rooms. You’re seeing them as they are when they’re in use.”
“Does he always have a pair of underpants hanging from the light fitting?”
Oz snorts. Luckily it’s not loud, because I have my hand over his fucking mouth. His merry eyes sparkle at me, and I can’t help but smile back.
“Oh, erm.” June hesitates. “Young men,” she finally says in a tone of voice which contains condemnation and weary exasperation.
There’s a chorus of agreement and then she hurries them out of the room. When the door closes, we both sag into each other and Oz starts to laugh. Usually, I love his laugh. It’s merry and intoxicating, like him. Today I’d like to shove him out of the French windows.
“Oh my God, that's killed my hard-on,” he groans.
“I’m glad we’ve found something that manages it,” I say primly. “I was beginning to wonder if you suffered from priapism.”
“Oh, shut up and pick up your underwear,” he grouses and shoves me out of the cupboard.
He pulls on his own underwear and pauses to watch me as I try