the generations that came after that, in the terrible stresses that would come, maybe humanity would speciate again and develop something new." She leaned down to little Dza and poofed in her face, which always made Dza laugh. "Maybe you are the new thing that humanity is supposed to become," said Shedemei. "Isn't that right, Dazyitnikiya?"
"You do love children so," said Luet, with a wistful tone.
"I love other people's children," said Shedemei. "I can always give them back, and then have time for my work. For you, poor things, it never ends."
But Hushidh was not deceived. Not that Shedemei didn't mean what she said - far from it. Shedya was quite sincere in her decision that it was perfectly all right for her not to have children - that she actually preferred it that way. She meant it, or at least meant to mean it.
Hushidh was convinced, however, that the powerful bond between Shedemei and every baby in the camp was really the infants' unconscious response to Shedemei's irresistible hunger. She wanted babies. She wanted to be part of the vast passage of the generations through the world. And more than that - as Hushidh watched the love between her and Zdorab grow into one of the strongest friendships she had ever seen, Hushidh became more and more certain that Shedemei wanted to bear Zdorab's child, and it made Hushidh yearn more and more for that longing to come true.
She had even asked the Oversoul why it was that Shedemei didn't conceive, but the Oversoul had never answered - and Luet said that when she asked, she got the clear answer that what went on between Zdorab and Shedemei was none of her business.
Maybe it's none of our business, though Hushidh, but that doesn't mean we can't wish that Shedemei had all that she needs to make her happy. Didn't the Oversoul bring everyone into the company because all their genes were needful? Was it possible that the Oversoul had erred, and either Zdorab or Shedemei was sterile? Awfully clumsy of her, if that's what happened.
Even now, Shedemei was explaining how Zdorab was the one who had discovered the geological history of the Valley of Fires. "He plays the Index like a musical instrument. He found things in the past that even the Oversoul didn't know that she knew. Things that only the ancients who first settled here understood. They gave the memory to the Oversoul, but then programmed her so that she couldn't find those memories on her own. Zdorab found the back doors, though, the hidden passageways, the strange connections that led into so many, many secrets."
"I know," said Hushidh. "Issib marvels at him sometimes, even though Issya himself isn't bad at getting ideas out of the Index."
"Oh, indeed, I know that," said Shedemei. "Zdorab says all the time that Issib is the real explorer."
"And Issib says that's only because he has more time, being useless at everything else," said Hushidh. "It's as if they both have to find reasons why the other is much better. I think they've become good friends."
"I know it," said Shedemei. "Issib is able to see how fine a man Zdorab really is."
"We all understand that," said Luet.
"Do you?" said Shedemei. "Sometimes it seems to me that everyone thinks of him as a sort of universal servant."
"We think of him as our cook because he's the best at it," said Hushidh. "And our librarian because he's the best at that."
"Ah, but only a few of us care about his archival skills; to most of the people in our company, his culinary skills are the only things they notice about him."
"And his gardening," said Luet.
Shedemei smiled. "You see? But he gets little respect for it."
"From some," said Hushidh. "But others respect him greatly."
"I know Nafai does," said Luet. "And I do."
"And I, and Issib and Volemak, too, I know that," said Hushidh.
"And isn't that everybody that matters?" asked Luet.
"I tell him that," said Shedemei, "but he persists in playing the servant."
Hushidh could see that, for this moment at least, Shedemei was closer to opening her heart to someone than ever before on this journey. She hardly knew, though, how to encourage her to go on - should she prod with a question, or keep silence so as not to impede her?
She kept silence.
And so did Shedemei.
Until at last Shedemei sniffed loudly and put her nose down near Chveya's diaper. "Has our little kaka factory produced another load?" she asked. "Now is the time when