the building, made out some more in the elevator, and were both flushed and breathing heavily by the time we reached the top. We were guided to a table in the corner, overlooking a decent portion of downtown.
“It’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?” She sighed and rested her chin in her hands with her elbows propped on the table.
Her hair was a bit of a mess from having my fingers in it, her cheeks were still flushed, and her eyes twinkled in the soft light from the strings hanging above our heads. “Yeah, it really is.”
If she noticed I hadn’t looked away from her when I replied, she didn’t let on. “I can’t believe it’s been so long since I last came here, but it has to be years. It might even have been before Luna met Cyrus. We used to come here for lunch sometimes.”
“It’s a great place.” The waiter who had shown us to our table brought our pitcher and glasses, then left after taking our order. “How’d you find it?”
“We scoured the internet for cheap places with good specials.” She laughed and ran her fingers through her tousled hair. “It was only a few years after my divorce and Luna had been dating this total asshole who didn’t like her spending time with her friends. We used to have to sneak away for lunches.”
“My dad always used to say men like that were a waste of testicles. I tend to agree with him.”
“Would it still ruin our night to talk about your dad?” she asked tentatively. “I’d love to hear more. Every time he comes up, you have this smile on your face I never see otherwise. It speaks volumes about the relationship you have with him.”
I sighed and sat back, knowing that the time had come to tell her about him. I wasn’t quite ready for the onslaught of pain that would come with it, even all these years later.
“He was the best dad in the world,” I said, the stabbing already starting in my heart and gut. “When I was younger, I believed all dads were like him. I think that’s why it still kills me when I see men who have fathered children but don’t take care of them.”
“It sure explains a lot,” she said, taking my hand from across the table. “You said he was the best dad in the world, not is. He’s gone?”
I nodded. “About ten years ago, we lost him to MS.”
“Wow, that sucks. I’m so sorry.”
“We had to watch his motor function slowly deteriorating for so many years before that. There were some treatments available even then. No cure, but there was a lot that could’ve been done to improve his quality of life. We couldn’t afford any of it, though.”
Realization dawned in her eyes. “That’s why you do what you do. It’s also why you’re so intent on offering your services for free to those who need it.”
I nodded again. “No one should be without help because of money. I know it makes the world go round, but there’s a lot more to life than dollars.”
“True.” She smiled slightly. “But it’s also a lot easier to say that when you have the dollars. When you don’t, well, I’m sure you remember.”
“Also true.” I toyed with the idea of telling her the other part, the part I’d only been planning on telling her once we’d made it past the beginning stages. But our relationship wasn’t really following the normal trajectory. “There’s something else you should know about this.”
“Yeah?” She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “What’s that?”
“MS is hereditary. I don’t want to have children of my own because I don’t want to pass it on to one of them.”
Her lips turned down and her eyes filled with so much pain and sadness it was like she knew exactly how I felt about it and was mirroring my emotions. Her eyes didn’t leave mine though, nor did she toss my hands down and call us quits because the prospect of children was off the table.
“You can’t live your life like that, Chris,” she said quietly. “Is it hereditary? Yes. Does that mean any child you have will get it? No. Do you want children?”
More than anything. I’d grown up idolizing my father and there was nothing I wanted more than to be exactly the kind of dad he’d been. But I also remembered what he went through those last few years. There was no way I’d take the chance