Their words did nothing to ease the ache in Ren's chest and throat. While they were worried about the world as a whole, he honestly was only worried about one person.
The woman who lay dead.
Sundown looked over at Cabeza. "Is there a place here where we can bury her body?"
Those words slammed into him with a force so strong it made him take a step back. Ren returned his attention to Windseer. Wait!
Windseer solidified with an arched brow while the others started looking for a place to put Kateri.
Ren panicked even more. What do you want in exchange for her life?
The smile on her face was cold and calculating. She slid her gaze down to Kateri. The Grizzly wants his freedom and he doesn't want to fight for it or share it. We bring the bitch back, she resets the calendar. Then you free him, alone. No other entities are invited to our party.
It wouldn't be that simple. He knew better. For one thing, he'd have to kill his brother in order to release the Grizzly. But at this point, sacrificing Coyote, who was hell-bent on destroying the world himself, didn't seem as bad as it once had. Is that all?
She laughed evilly. Of course not. You return to him as his servant.
Ren shook his head. I won't fight for Grizzly. Never again.
Makah'Alay, Makah'Alay ...
Ren could have definitely done without her patronizing tone. Her expression was pitiless. You misunderstand me. He doesn't want you to fight for him. He no longer has faith in your loyalty. You will be his eternal slave to do with as he pleases. Total subjugation.
His stomach cramped with dread at the very thought. I can't do that. Artemis owns me.
Windseer tsked at him. Then let her come for you if she wants you so badly.... But you know the truth, just as we do. She doesn't care about you, any more than anyone else does. She won't waste three seconds trying to find you, because she won't even know you're gone. Face it, Makah'Alay, you're worthless. You have no value to anyone. Not even us.
Those words slapped him hard. Mostly because they were true and he knew it. The only person who seemed to value him was now dead at his feet.
Or was there more to this?
If I have no value, then why does Grizzly want to own me?
To torture you, idiot. Why else? You betrayed him and he wants your blood for that. No one makes him look like a fool. The only so-called value you have to him is that you can get close enough to Coyote to sacrifice him and release Grizzly faster than anyone else. But if you have no wish to have your beloved toy returned to the land of the living, fine. I'll find someone else who will have the balls to do what he has to for the ones he loves.
Ren ground his teeth. She was wasting her time insulting him. He couldn't care less what she called him. Those barbs had lost their sting a long time ago.
The only one who could hurt him now was Kateri, and with her gone, his heart was broken.
I can save her life.
He looked down at the only person who'd ever made him feel welcomed. The only one who'd made him smile while hell rained down on him, and his gut wrenched with grief. He couldn't say no to their offer and they knew it.
How can I be willing to sell my freedom for a woman I just met?
The same way Buffalo had been willing to risk Ren's anger and retaliation by visiting Butterfly during Ren's brief reign. When Ren first discovered what Buffalo was doing, he had been furious. Not because he wanted Butterfly for himself, but because he felt betrayed that Buffalo had feared him so. That his friend had thought so little of him that Buffalo had honestly believed Ren would turn on him and kill him for loving her.
That was what had taught him how ludicrous and unreasoning fear was. Had Ren wanted Butterfly, he'd have taken her once he held Coyote as his prisoner.
Instead, Ren had left her alone. Even though she was beautiful beyond belief and he would have been proud to call her his own, he had envied his brother's happiness that had been bought with Ren's blood and dignity, not his bride. Even then, Ren would never have taken Coyote prisoner had his brother not poisoned him and then tried to cut his throat.
And he wouldn't have tortured Coyote had his brother kept his mouth shut and not insulted him day after day. Ren had gone insane from it all. Between being possessed and the pain of Coyote and his father mocking him, he'd lost it completely. All he'd wanted was for it to cease. For someone, just one person, to look at him like he was human and had feelings. Hell, even when he'd gone to kill his father, the man had laughed at him.
"You're not man enough, dog." And then his father had spat in his face.
When Ren had attacked, his father might have been able to survive had he taken Ren seriously. But he'd mocked him right up to the point Ren had stabbed him.
In all his life, Ren had never felt treasured, not even by Buffalo. Theirs had been a relationship born out of a debt Buffalo thought he owed him and because he felt sorry for Ren. While they had grown close, Buffalo hadn't befriended him because he liked him or because they had anything in common.