'Cause from where he was standing, there was no chance of that. He was harder right now than he'd been in a long time. And all he could think about was pressing her hand against the part of him that was begging for a taste of her.
C'mon, Ren ... just one small kiss....
Determined to keep her at a distance, he dropped his gaze to her arm.
His breath caught as his gaze focused on something that couldn't be right.
No. Not possible. It couldn't be. It was an illusion of the light. His mind playing some kind of sick joke ...
It had to be.
His heart pounding, he reached out to take her right wrist. Turning it over, he saw the faint mark at the crook of her elbow that was in the shape of a spider.
It's a coincidence....
But what if it wasn't?
"Where did you get this?" he asked, brushing his hand over the mark.
She looked down and her frown deepened. "I was born with it. And I'm impressed. See, you can speak a whole sentence and not spontaneously combust into flames. Amazing, isn't it?"
Honestly, he didn't register a single word of what she was saying. He couldn't. All he could focus on was a mark only one other person had ever borne.
One that no one else should have.
"What does your father say about this?" he asked her.
She shrugged. "Nothing. He walked out on us when I was a baby and I haven't seen him since."
His head reeling, he took a step back as everything started coming together.
She wasn't just the Ixkib. She was also the daughter of the First Guardian....
"What aren't you telling me?" Kateri asked with a very subtle drop in octave that told him she suspected she should be afraid. But other than that, she hid her panic well.
Damn. Ren should have recognized who she was the moment they met. Strange how the mind colored things and hid them from conscious thought. How something could be right under your nose and you missed it entirely ...
Now that he knew the truth of her, it was obvious, and he had no idea how he could have been so stupid as to have been blind to it.
While her features and height were nothing like the First Guardian's, she had his same eerie gold-tinged eyes that held a probing, deep intensity that seemed to strip away all lies, bravado, and pretenses so that their owner could see straight into the naked soul.
The first time he'd met the Guardian, that penetrating stare had reduced him back to the cowering dog that had lived only to gain his father's approval. The pathetic shadow of a human who'd allowed his own brother to walk all over him while he protected the bastard with his blood and bone. The dog that had accepted the kicks of everyone who came into contact with him, thinking he deserved nothing better than their contempt.
For most of his life, Ren had honestly believed that rather than be angry or bitter, he should be grateful that anyone was willing to offer him a home at all. Dignity was something reserved for his betters.
As much as he'd convinced himself that he hated his father and Coyote over how they'd treated him, the truth was he'd hated himself more. He had been the one to swallow their abuse and say nothing. The one who had allowed them to treat him as if he was lesser.
All the while, he'd had the strength and skills to silence them. But rather than risk his "home" and what little security he knew, he'd taken their verbal assault and made himself believe that he couldn't exist on his own.
That he really was weaker.
And the moment the First Guardian had looked into his eyes and stripped away the vengeance-seeking monster Windseer had awakened so that he was again a vulnerable human, Ren had unleashed that hatred all over the ancient for daring to see the truth. But in the end, the First Guardian had been right. It wasn't the First Guardian Ren had ferociously battled for that entire year so much as himself.
He, and no other, had always been his worst enemy.
Anyone else would have condemned Ren for his past atrocities and demanded his life. Instead, the First Guardian had embraced him like a brother. You allowed someone you loved to blind you with her lies. You trusted in her to look after a fragile heart that had never beat with acceptance before. While you committed evil at her command, the evil wasn't inside you. You took no pleasure or comfort from your actions. No pride.
I see your heart, Makah'Alay. You are shamed and horrified by what you've done. You know how wrong it was and you don't hide from that fact. You flog yourself far worse than I ever could.