"Tell me something, Susan."
"What?"
"When did you try to kill yourself?"
Susan swallowed as she remembered that awful, cold November night. It'd been about a week after Alex had left her, and she'd been forced out of her house into a roach-infested dive.
They'd even repo'd her car that afternoon.
On a holiday.
"It was Thanksgiving," she whispered as she felt the tears pricking her eyes. "Jimmy and Angie hadn't been able to spend it with me because his parents had come in from out of town. They'd invited me over, but the last thing I wanted was to put on a happy face when everything in my life was going wrong. Not to mention I didn't want to answer any questions from his parents about the news reports they'd been watching, where I was served up raw.
"So there I was, in my crappy, rundown apartment. Alone, Thinking about my mother, and how much I missed her, and I realized at that moment, that all the things I'd wanted as a little girl-my dreams of having a family and career-were all gone. All the things I'd worked so damned hard for had been stripped away, one by one. There wasn't someone to stand by me through the scandal. Someone to hold my hand and tell me it was going to be okay and that they would be there for me. I only had me, and I was just too tired to take another step alone. I hurt so badly and there was no one else who understood what I was going through. No one who'd seen their entire life crumble to nothing. So I decided the world would be better off without me in it."
He cradled her head against his chest. "But you didn't die."
"No," she said, sniffing back her tears. "After I'd cut my wrists, I realized how stupid I was being. More than that, I realized that if I killed myself, then those bastards who set me up would win. They wouldn't care that I was gone. They'd probably gloat, and that gave me the strength I needed to survive. After all they had taken from me, I wasn't about to let them have that, too. So I called an ambulance and promised myself that I would never be that weak again. My enemies can take what they want, but my life is mine and so long as I breathe, it has value. I won't ever give up. Not again."
Ravyn felt something warm go through him at her words. She was amazing. And she was stronger than anyone had a right to be.
It was weird, but of all the people he'd known in his long life, with the exception of Cael, she was the only one he really believed understood his feelings. She knew firsthand exactly what he was talking about when it came to loss.
"Damn, we're a pair, aren't we?" he said quietly.
"Could be worse."
Her words surprised him. "How so?"
"We could be Nick."
He laughed gently at her never-ending humor. Sometimes it was gallows and dark, but it never failed her. She wore it like armor. "Good point."
Clearing her throat, she pulled away. He didn't miss the very subtle gesture of her wiping away a tear with her pinkie before she looked up at him. "What's his deal anyway? Why does he have the bow and arrow mark on his face while the rest of you have them in more private areas?"
"I have no idea. I've never seen a Dark-Hunter have one in such an obvious spot before. I think Zoe might have had something when she asked if Artemis had slapped him. "
Susan smiled at the thought. "Well, if he was as kind to her as he's been to the rest of us, I might understand her motivation."
"Yeah, but in a way I feel sorry for him. He's not the same man who used to run the Web site. He was always sarcastic, but I can respect that. Now he's bitter and angry."
Ravyn shook his head as he remembered the way Nick used to be. There was nothing he could do to change that. Only time would allow Nick to regain some semblance of what he'd been before. "Enough about Nick. You need to check that folder out. Leo thinks it's a lead to who's helping the Daimons."
That caught her interest immediately. She headed back for the folder and sat cross-legged on the mattress to read it.
Ravyn's groin jerked at that and he wasn't sure why... well, okay, he was. There was something very inviting about that position as inappropriate thoughts went through him. He'd give her credit, she was hot in bed and on the floor, and he wondered how she'd be in other places such as the kitchen counter, the shower, and out in the woods, under the stars.
His body was really burning at those thoughts.
But she was completely engrossed by her work right now. She didn't even appear to know he was in the room as she started fanning pages around the mattress to read them. Her brow furrowed, she grabbed the laptop and pulled up Google.
"You want something to drink?"
"Coffee," she said in a distracted tone as she grabbed a pencil and started making notes.
"Black?"
"Cream and sugar, or a caramel Macchiato is always welcomed."