I'm not strong enough to lose another woman I love. Yeah, he could take a savage beating and not blink. He could walk through hell itself and taunt the devil while Lucifer's demons flogged him every step of the way.
But living without her would break him. As bad as losing Matilda had hurt, this was so much worse. He wouldn't just lose the woman he loved.
He'd lose the only woman who'd ever seen the real him. The only person who knew his true feelings. He'd never been so honest with anyone.
Not even himself.
I can't let you go....
Abigail ran her hands over his muscled back and savored this last connection to the one person she'd waited her entire life to meet.
The man she loved with every part of her.
Squeezing him tight, she forced herself to let go and step back. He stared down at her while she reached into his front pocket and pulled out his watch. Opening it, she stared at the face that had changed him forever. The face that had saved him from himself and given him back his soul.
The woman he'd sold his soul to avenge.
His was the face she would carry in her watch if she had one.
Heartsick and weary, she shut the watch and placed it in his palm, then folded his fingers around it. Lifting his hand to her lips, she inhaled the deep masculine scent of his skin, then kissed his scarred knuckles. A permanent reminder of how difficult his life had been and how hard he'd fought for it. "You will always belong to Matilda, Jess. I understand that now." Just as she understood what Jess had told her about his relationship with her mother.
Being in love was vastly different from loving someone. When you were in love, it consumed you. Devoured you.
And made you deliriously happy.
That was what he did for her.
Take care of our boy, Matilda. I won't fight you for his affections.
She'd been lucky enough just to know him for a short time.
Holding back her tears, she stepped around him and climbed up the dark ground to where Choo Co La Tah waited for her.
Don't look back. Don't torture yourself. But she couldn't help it. She had to see him one last time.
Her throat tight, she turned to find those dark eyes never wavering. The look of tormented pain on his face seared her, and it made her wish she could steal every bad memory from him and replace it with only happiness.
Time seemed suspended as they stared at each other. Even her heart seemed to stop.
"Abigail..." Jess started forward, but Ren stopped him.
"She has to do this alone, penyo."
That familiar tic thumped against his lean jaw. She watched the battle he waged with himself. The indecision he had. Finally, he shoved Ren aside and sprinted up the hill to where she stood.
He took her hand into his and placed his watch in her palm. It was still warm from his touch.
She frowned at him. "What are you doing?"
"I don't want you to be alone anymore." He closed her fingers around the watch and kissed her hand just like she'd kissed his.
Those words and that single action brought her to her knees. They shattered her facade and succeeded in wrenching a sob from her. She understood exactly what he was saying. He was giving her his most prized possession.
He loved her.
And that made her cry all the harder. "Damn you, Jess," she breathed, despising her weakness in front of the others. "I hate you."
He flashed that charming grin that was as much a part of him as his slow Southern drawl. "I know ... Me, too." He clutched her hand in his.