But you'll never know her for yourself and that pains me most of all. I wish you could see the look on her face whenever she talks to you. The sadness she tries so hard to hide. Every time I see it, it cuts through me.
She loves you so much. You're all she talks about. I have so many orders from her for you. I'm not allowed to make you crazy the way I do your Uncle Chris. I'm not allowed to call the doctors every time you sneeze and you are to be allowed to tussle with your friends without me having a conniption that someone might bruise you.
Nor am I to bully you about getting married or having kids. Ever.
Most of all, you are allowed to pick out your own car at sixteen. I'm not supposed to put you in a tank. We'll see about that one. I refused to promise her this last item until I know more about you. Not to mention, I've seen how other people drive on the roads. So if you have a tank, sorry. There's only so much changing a man my age can do.
I don't know what our futures will hold. I only hope that when all is said and done, you are more like your mother than you are like me. She's a good woman. A kind woman. Full of love and compassion even though her life has been hard and full of grief. She bears her scars with a grace, dignity, and humor that I lack.
Most of all, she has courage the likes of which I haven't witnessed in centuries. I hope with every part of me that you inherit all her best traits and none of my bad ones.
I don't really know what more to say. I just thought you should have something of me in here too.
Love,
Your father
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she read his words. "Oh, Wulf," she breathed, her heart breaking at the things he would never admit to aloud. It was so strange to see herself through his eyes. She never thought of herself as particularly brave. Never thought of herself as strong.
Not until the night she had met a dark champion.
As Cassandra folded up the note and resealed it, she realized something.
She loved Wulf. Desperately.
She wasn't sure when it had happened. It might have been the first time he took her into his arms. Or it might have been when he reluctantly welcomed her into his home.
No, she realized, it was none of those times. She had fallen in love with him the first time he had touched her belly with his strong, capable hand and called her baby his.
Dark-Hunter or not, he was a good, wonderful man for an ancient barbarian.
The door opened.
"Are you all right?" Wulf rushed forward to the bed.
"I'm fine," she said, clearing her throat. "It's these stupid pregnancy hormones. I cry at the drop of a hat. Ugh!"
He wiped her tears away from her cheeks. "It's okay. I understand. I've been around plenty of pregnant women in my day."
"Your Squires?"
He nodded. "I've even delivered a few of their babies."
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah. You have to love the days before modern roads and hospitals when I was up to my elbows in placenta."
She laughed, but then she always did around him. He had an incredible knack for making her feel better.
Wulf helped her put everything away. "You should probably go on to sleep. You didn't rest well last night."
"I know. I'm going, I promise."
He tucked her into bed after she had changed into her nightgown, then turned the lights off and left her alone. Cassandra lay in the dark, her thoughts wandering.
Closing her eyes, she imagined her and Wulf in his house, with a passel of children running around them.
Funny how she had never dared dream for a single child and now she wanted more time to have as many as possible.