Maybe this was a dream.
It had to be and yet...
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"Opening the door so it doesn't hit you in the butt as you go through it."
"Why?"
"You said you want to leave. So go. Get out. I don't want to keep you here when it's obvious that I repulse you."
Her logic baffled him. "What are you talking about?"
"What do you mean, what am I talking about? Isn't it obvious? I sleep with you and you can't leave me fast enough. Sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I at least tried."
Not good enough for him? Was she joking?
He stared at her in disbelief. Torn between wanting to curse her for the stupidity and wanting to comfort her.
His anger won out. "You're worthless? Then what am I? Do you realize before I died, I was below even a pity fuck? No one would touch me with any part of their bodies. I was lucky if they even used a stick to knock me out of the way. So don't stand there and act all hurt and talk to me about being worthless. No one has ever had to pay someone else just to get you out of their sight."
Zarek froze as he realized what he had just said to her. Those were things he'd kept hidden deep inside himself for centuries. Things he had never spoken of with anyone.
Painful truths that had languished in his heart, eating at him century after century.
No one had ever wanted him near them.
Not until Astrid.
It was why he couldn't stay. She made him warm, and it terrified him because he knew it couldn't be real.
This was another cruel torment fate had inflicted on him.
When he woke up, he would be with her and she would have no use for him. He didn't belong with the real Astrid.
He never would.
"Then they were blind if they couldn't see what you are, Zarek. They are the losers, not you."
Gods, how he wanted to believe her.
How he needed to believe her.
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"I told you, Zarek. I like you."
"Why? No one else ever has."
"That's not true. You've had friends all along, but you've never allowed them to help you."
"Acheron," he said, whispering the word. "Jess." He curled his lip at the thought of Sundown.
"You have to learn to reach out to people."
"Why? So they can shoot me in the back?"
"No, so they can love you."