His appetite gone, Zarek set his plate on the table and returned to his room where he couldn't offend them anymore.
Astrid felt her way to the table, expecting to find Zarek there. All she found was his plate of uneaten food.
"What happened?" she asked Sasha.
"If he had feelings, I would say you hurt them. Like as not, he went back to the room to find a weapon so he can kill us."
"Sasha! Tell me what happened just now."
"Okay, he put the plate down and left."
"What did he look like?"
"Nothing. He didn't show any kind of emotion."
That didn't help her at all.
She went after Zarek.
"Go away," he snapped after she knocked on his door and pushed it open.
Astrid stood in the doorway, wishing she could see him. "What do you want, Zarek?"
"I..." his voice trailed off.
"You what?"
Zarek couldn't speak the truth. He wanted to be warm. Just once in his life, he wanted warmth. Not just physical but mental warmth.
"I want to leave."
She sighed at his words. "You'll die if you go out there."
"So what if I do?"
"Does your life truly have no value or meaning to you?"
"No, it doesn't."
"Then why haven't you killed yourself?"
He snorted at that. "Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that."
To his surprise, she laughed. "I wish I could see your face to know if you were joking or not."
"Trust me, I'm not."
"Then I'm sorry for you. I wish you had something that made you happy."
Zarek looked away from her. Happy. He didn't even understand that word. It was as alien to him as kindness. Compassion.
Love.
Now there was a word that never entered his vocabulary. He couldn't imagine what others must feel.
For love, Talon had almost died so that Sunshine could live. For love, Sunshine had bartered her soul to free Talon.
All he knew was hatred, anger. It was the only thing that kept him warm. The only thing that kept him living.