Calm.
Everything except for his heart, which was breaking.
Astrid was gone.
It was for her own good.
So why did he feel so brokenhearted?
As Zarek hung his head, he noticed the blood that was dripping from his arm.
He'd best tend the wound before any bears or wolves caught its scent. Sighing, he went into his empty cabin, shut the door and bolted it. He crossed the room to his cupboard and opened it.
There was really no way to tend the wound here. Since his generator had never been delivered, the water had frozen in the cold and there was no heat to thaw anything out.
Even his peroxide was frozen solid.
Zarek cursed and put the peroxide back in his pantry, then grabbed a bottle of vodka instead. It was slushy and thick, but still liquid.
He heard a faint ringing coming from outside. Going back out into his yard, he retrieved his backpack that Astrid had left. The mink and her kits were still inside and still cranky.
Ignoring them, Zarek pulled his phone out. "Yeah?" he said, answering it.
"It's Jess. I just got a call from Acheron telling me and Andy to go home. I wanted to check in with you first, make sure you were still alive."
Zarek took the mink and her kits into his house and set them back inside the safety of his stove. "Since I answered the phone, my guess is yes, I'm still living."
"Smart-ass. You still need me to come get Astrid?"
"No, she's..." He choked on the word. Clearing his throat, he forced it out. "She's gone."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
Silence hung between them.
After a few seconds, Jess spoke again. "By the way, did anyone ever tell you about Sharon? In all the commotion, I didn't have time."
Zarek paused, his hand on the stove. "What about her?"
"Thanatos hurt her trying to find you, but she'll be okay. Otto is going to stay up here for a few more days to make sure she gets a new house and has someone to take care of her when she comes home from the hospital. I just thought you'd want to know. I... uh... I sent her some flowers from you."
He let out a slow breath. It pained him that she'd been hurt and he hadn't even known. He ruined everything he touched. "Thanks, Jess. It was a kind thing you did for me. I appreciate it."
Something struck the phone's receiver. Hard. It caused Zarek's ear to ring.
"Excuse me?" Jess asked in disbelief. "This is Frozen Zarek I'm talking to, right? Not some weird pod person?"
He shook his head at Jess's joking. "It's me, dickless."
"Hey, now, that's way too personal. I don't need to know that much about you."
Zarek gave a halfhearted smile. "Shut up."
"All right, then. I'm going to head out and let Mike take my ass out of here while I still got some of it left unfrozen... Oh, hey, by the way, Spawn headed out a while back. Said to tell you not to worry about returning his phone. You know, he's not half-bad for an Apollite and he's not that far from here. Maybe you ought to call him sometime."
"You playing matchmaker?"