He turned on his headlamp, then reached over and flipped on hers too. “Let’s gather the troops.”
Her smile sent an encouraging rush through him.
“Fall out, woman!”
Amanda scrambled out of the tent, and Hailey and Jesse ran over, almost out of breath. “Are you two ready to go?”
“Yes. Gather the pails. The net. Onward to the beach!” Paul bellowed.
They marched in single file over the dune to the beach. “Left, right, left.”
For an hour they ran and danced in the damp sand, watching for the crabs to pop out so they could swoop them up and put them in the buckets. As it turned out, Hailey was better at it than any of them. Finally, they dumped all the buckets and watched the crabs scuttle sideways across the sand for safety.
“That was fun! I was the best!” Hailey cheered.
“You were very good. A natural.” Amanda placed a pretend crown on Hailey’s head. “Miss Ghost Crab.”
Hailey curtsied. “Now what?”
“S’mores time,” Paul said. “Back to headquarters.”
After s’mores, the kids wanted to bring their pillows and blankets out and sleep in the tent.
He pointed at the fabric stretched overhead. “This is really more of a picnic tent to keep the mosquitoes off us while we play. I tell you what. I’ll bring my sleeping tent over someday and we’ll do a campout. Deal?”
“Okay.”
Amanda tucked them in, and he waited outside by the fire.
She came out to sit with him. “Jesse was asleep before they finished the prayer. It was a pretty awesome day. Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome. I had fun too.”
He put another marshmallow on the roasting stick, twisting it over the flames until it was golden brown, and offered it to her.
“Thanks.” She pinched her fingers around it and bounced it in her hand. “It’s hot.” She blew on it, then nibbled at the crispy edges. “Some things are yummy no matter how old you get.”
“I know.” He puffed the flames off another marshmallow and ate that one himself. I can’t leave here with you second-guessing us. I want to be more than friends. Fear knotted in his gut as he sat there staring into the fire, hoping for the right words. After a long silence, he put down his stick and grabbed Amanda gently by the hands. “I’m sure this seems abrupt, but we were so close before.”
“We were.”
“I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you all along. I wish I’d fought to stay and help even when you pushed me away, but I needed the time. I wouldn’t have been useful no matter how good my intentions were at that point.”
“I wasn’t ready for it either.”
“All I’ve thought about is you. This whole time what made me know I had to change…” He swept a hand through his hair. “I got reckless, Amanda. You are all that kept me from self-destructing. In my heart I knew I couldn’t give up. It was always you and Hailey and Jesse.”
“I’m glad you’re safe, but that doesn’t have anything to do with me. I mean, I’m selfishly happy you’re not in the Marines anymore and are going to do something else now.”
“Amanda, it has everything to do with you.”
She stared at him. Obviously, none of what he said was making sense.
“I never thought about you as anything but my best friend’s wife and my best friend as long as Jack was alive. I loved him like a brother, but, Amanda, you stole my heart the first night I met you. When you leaned in while we were dancing and told me your name, I thought to myself, This woman is special.”
“You’re sweet, but—”
“No, no buts. Jack knew, but we had one priority back then: Marine Corps to the core.”
Her mind reeled, replaying moments from the past. From before she’d married Jack.
“When I came home and you and Jack were a couple, I was torn apart, but he was my best friend. I looked high and low for a woman just like you. Like Jack’s Amanda. There isn’t another Amanda that I could ever find. Everyone I dated I compared to you. But you’re the best, Amanda.”
She laughed, and that hurt his feelings.
How could she think this was funny? But then he recognized the nervousness in her laugh. For Pete’s sake, this is coming out of the blue. Slow down.
He laughed at himself. “I’m sorry. Okay, that was a lot to throw on you, and it sounds crazy and might even be. I’m not here expecting a declaration of love or