exhausted sigh. “Well, then I suppose I must call and cancel that appointment. I don’t know why you can’t at least try. We worry about you. You’re our daughter. This is hard on everyone.”
“I’m doing the very best I can. I start teaching in September. Everything is all set.”
“Well, that’s another thing. Here you could work part time, or not at all. You wouldn’t have to go back to teaching. You could live off the insurance until the kids are older.”
Teaching wasn’t what Amanda wanted to do. When she’d uprooted the family and moved here, the plan had been to start her online store selling herb-infused salts prepared at her house. She and Jack had set some money aside for the venture. She wished she’d done it sooner, while he was still around, but the kids were little and the timing never seemed right.
She’d paid a contractor to cordon off a space for the sole use of her business as soon as she’d closed on this place, only to then find out she couldn’t run the food business from her home with Denali on the property. That had been a devastating discovery and a huge waste of money. She’d thought Mom would console her, but instead it fueled the arguments to get her back to Ohio.
“I guess we shouldn’t complain since you’ll be using your college degree,” Mom said.
“Right.” Like she hadn’t heard about that a hundred times since she had Hailey. “Thanks, Mom. Kiss Daddy for me. I’ve got to go. Something’s on the stove.” She hated lying, but these calls left her feeling uncertain, and she wasn’t strong enough for that today. “I love you, Mom. Bye.”
No doubt things would be easier in Ohio, but her mom would put herself in the middle of everything, and finding a way to move on without Jack was something Amanda needed to do for herself.
She tossed her phone aside and made her bed, brushing the cover free of wrinkles.
Instead of keeping the masculine blue color scheme she and Jack had shared, she’d decorated this room in beachy tones of taupe and a sassy fruit-punch pink. Jack would never have agreed to the girlie combo, but it made her feel happier. Even if the moments were few and far between, they were coming more often now than they had.
“Good morning,” she said to the gerbera daisy on her nightstand. Its magenta petals brought joy every day. If you talk back, I will have a problem.
Next to the flower sat a conch shell. She’d bought it at a garage sale for a dime. That was the day she’d started house hunting for a home at the beach. Not just any beach. The beach where she and Jack had gotten married.
She picked up the shell and held it to her body. Since she first laid eyes on it, the shell made her feel powerful and able to come up with solutions that otherwise seemed impossible.
The weather was so hot that even at night the house didn’t cool off. She shook her hair from her face and stretched to the sky. She’d once read somewhere that stretching when you got up was a sign of being healthy. That was a good enough reason to give it a try.
Amanda’s feet stuck to the humid floor as she walked down the hall. She poked her head inside Jesse’s room. Even though the ceiling fan was on, both kids had kicked off their sheets. Hailey was still fast asleep, hugging the stuffed lop-eared bunny she’d gotten for Christmas two years ago. Jesse was wiggling—a sure sign he’d be up any minute.
She walked to the living room and sat on the couch, pulling her feet up underneath her for a few minutes of quiet. She closed her eyes and took in slow, deep breaths.
I’m thankful for the security the teaching job will bring.
I’m thankful for this humble house. It’s becoming a home, and we’re safe here.
The kids are stronger than I’ll ever be. I’m so lucky, and they keep me going.
And then that was it because Jesse came tearing down the hall, his bare feet slapping the floor. He jumped over poor Denali, who’d practically dug a hole while trying to scramble out of the way.
Have I ever finished a list? I’m grateful for so many more things.
“You’re awake!” Jesse struck a squatty sumo stance.
Amen.
He ran over and threw himself at her. “Love!”
“Good morning, my little man.” She hugged him tightly.