keeps things from me, but this was a surprise because Beast didn’t know it either. My tie with Ed was ripped away when the SOD Two took him and bled him empty. But Beast’s connection is still active off and on. Or was reattached when I was in the witch circle. Or something. Maybe.”
“Interesting,” Bruiser said softly. He scratched his beard slowly, a new gesture since he’d stopped shaving, one that indicated deep thought. Or an itchy face. Or both.
“While Beast played with Brute, her mind was open and I—we—saw Ed. He was being tortured by the shadow I saw before, but I got a better look at the torturer. It was a creature with shark teeth and huge eyes.”
Eli said, “Drink your cocoa.”
I did as ordered and drained the last of the drink, the sugar hitting my system with an instant high. Eli exchanged the mug for the blue Anzu feather, and the pain that had become so much a part of me that I tended to overlook it vanished when I shoved the feather against my belly and took a deep breath. “Thanks.” I watched my business partner and best friend in the world, all relaxed and comfy in his pretty chair, and knew he was lying by body language to me. He was too slender, too hard, and too twitchy under the skin, evidenced by the tightness of the flesh around his eyes and the utter stillness with which he held himself. Eli needed to go do something with that energy. He needed a job, a battle to fight, a cause to fight for, and he needed it now, right this second. It was too hard, sitting in a pretty chair, waiting for the vamp infestation to show up and give him the chance to do battle.
Eli needs to hunt, Beast thought.
Yeah. He does, I thought back.
He needed me too. How very weird. To be needed.
“There was a lot of confusing stuff in the vision/experience/memory/whatever it was,” I said.
The men said nothing.
“But it was definitely not human.”
They looked at each other. Something communicated between them, something I didn’t catch. Something important. “What?” I demanded.
“That is interesting,” Bruiser said.
“Right interesting.” Eli stood and walked away.
“You’re not telling me something,” I said, my tone accusing. Because: “I’m not stupid.”
“No, you aren’t,” Bruiser said. And then he got up and left too, closing the door behind him.
“Not fair,” I shouted. Neither of them responded. “Dang it.”
I dressed and checked on Shiloh in the bathroom. The paralyzed, almost-true-dead vamp still lay in the tub, covered in dried blood, her throat a gaping wound. I needed to fix my life. I needed to find out what was going on. No. I needed to be well so they’d stop treating me like I was sick.
Jane is sick, Beast said.
“Shut up. No one asked you.”
Beast snorted.
I left the bathroom to find Bruiser back, standing at the bedroom window, staring out at the snow. I scuffed my feet to let him know I was coming and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. I could hear his heart beating, slow and measured, and remembered the feeling I had gotten a few times recently. I debated bringing up the vision or talking about feelings. My natural inclination was to avoid feelings, so I started there. Because I’m contrary even to myself. “You’re depressed,” I said. “I hadn’t noticed and when I did notice I didn’t do anything about it.”
“You’ve been busy dying,” he said, heartache and amusement lacing his words. “Besides, my depression is more grief than true melancholy, and either way it isn’t your responsibility. It belongs to me and is mine to deal with.”
“Uh-huh. I didn’t save Leo. Leo’s in a coffin because of me.”
Bruiser didn’t reply. His heart rate didn’t alter. But his scent? Yeah. I smelled his grief.
I gave myself a chance to think it all through, and then, when I had it all in place, I said part of what I had put together. “Being Onorio doesn’t mean you no longer need vamp blood; it just means you need less. Are you in withdrawal?”
Bruiser turned, sliding through my embrace in surprise.
“What?” I said. “You forgot about drinking? You’re an idiot, you know that, right?”
“I never even thought about it. I’ve been . . . off . . . not myself, for months.” His arms went around me and his forehead creased as some other thought occurred to him, but he didn’t share.