through me. I fingered the raptor claw. Closed my eyes. Relaxed. Listened to the night. Felt the pull of the waxing moon growing toward fullness, hidden by the snow clouds. I listened to the beat of my heart.
I breathed, slowing my body’s functions, my heart rate dropping, my muscles relaxing in meditation. I pulled my knees into a yogi position and breathed, hands on thighs, arms at my sides in the frozen air.
Quietly, inside me, Beast murmured, Save kit. Even if Jane loses Beast.
Saving the kid. That’s the idea. But losing you is not part of the deal. I’m not losing you. You remember how you saved us in the chasm, when we fell, and the boulders dropped? Like that. Hang on.
I hadn’t dropped mass in a long time, and while it wasn’t actually difficult to do, it was also the most dangerous shape-shift, to set aside mass to take on the shape of a smaller animal. Dangerous because the frontal lobes of the human brain were completely lacking in much smaller creatures. I had to set aside the essential parts of myself to achieve the form I needed. It was possible that I might forget who and what I was and never return for the parts of me I was leaving behind, but if I was successful and if I remembered, my memories and my mass would be here, on the clean broken rock, waiting for me to take back myself.
Mind slowing, I sank into the talon. Deep inside. Conscious thought slipped away, all but the purpose of this hunt. To find and follow Legolas. To rescue EJ and Soul. Those purposes I set into the lining of my flesh, into the deepest parts of my brain, so I wouldn’t forget when I shifted. I dropped deeper. Pulled the Gray Between out from within myself. I began to chant, whispering almost silently, “Mass to mass, stone to stone . . . mass to mass, stone to stone . . .”
I slid deeper, into the flesh on the wider end of the talon, into the double helix of DNA, the snake lying inside the heart of all creatures on Earth. The transition was like water flowing in the nearby stream. Like the snow falling, resting on my shoulders. The Gray Between streamed over me.
My breathing raced. Heart rate sped. My last thought was of the animal I was to become. The Eurasian eagle-owl, Bubo bubo.
Beast thought at me, Remember Beast. Come back for Beast.
I promise, I thought back at her.
My bones slid, skin rippled. Mass shifted down, falling to the newly broken stone. Black motes of power sprang along my body, burning and pricking. Mass to mass, stone to stone . . . Pain like a knife slid along my spine. Wings formed and lifted out along my shoulders, metamorphosing from arms. I dropped more mass, my body falling away, altering. Golden feathers, tawny brown, sprouted. My nostrils narrowed, drawing deep, filling smaller lungs. My heart raced, a heart meant to power flight. My talons clawed across the stone, scratching, tearing my piled clothing.
The night was alive in ways my Beast never saw it. Everything was brighter, intense shades of greens and silvers, with tiny flashes of red and gold and orange. I could hear everything, everywhere. The movement of tree branches a hundred yards away. The sound of water tumbling in the creek, so loud it was like a waterfall roar. The smell of the steak.
I fluttered my wings and tore into the meat, ripping off strips with my beak and swallowing in greedy gulps. The meat was cold, but my belly was empty and I devoured the meat.
Eyes meant for the night took in everything as I ate, light and shadow, the movement of the wind in specks of energy that tumbled through the trees and bounced off the cold ground only to rise again. Currents were visible to owl eyes as they twisted and shifted up and down, side to side, and swirled back again the other way. When the food was gone, I spotted the bag and . . . remembered. I was Jane. The small human had been stolen. EJ.
I ducked my head through the loop of the strap and let it settle against me. Gathered myself, spread my wings, and leaped from the boulder, out over the stones and the creek. Beating the air with a five-foot wingspan. It had been a long time since I flew, but the memory was stored in the