Shameless - Sybil Bartel Page 0,43

the kitchen.

Food.

I needed food.

And I wanted to get high, but I was damn sure alphahole wasn’t sporting a blunt, so that was out. Besides, the last time I’d snuck out of rehab and smoked pot with one of the night nurses, then sucked his dick afterwards for the contraband weed, I got paranoid as hell. Spending all night wondering if my dead drug dealer was out to get me from the grave wasn’t on my short list of fun activities to repeat, so I’d laid off the weed.

Now it’d been six weeks, and it was the longest I’d been clean from any and every kind of substance since I was like, I don’t know, thirteen.

Maybe twelve.

Whatever.

Fuck my ass size, I needed something to eat.

“What does this dump have that’s decent?” I opened the fridge.

“Food.” His deep voice rumbled behind me.

I hated how I loved that rumble.

His voice was different at night. Less abrasive, and earthier, like we were underground and it was muted by layers of heavy dirt, only loud enough for me to hear. It felt intimate, and oh man, was I falling for it.

I hadn’t even been able to lie still upstairs, thinking about him downstairs. I’d just wanted to hear his voice. I also wanted to smell the skin where his shirt ended and his neck began, but I hadn’t lied about what I’d said. Before tonight, I’d gotten used to falling asleep listening to the sound of other bodies breathing.

Except it wasn’t that sound, that comfort of knowing you weren’t alone, that I was craving tonight. It was simply him. And I wasn’t just craving him, I was actually aching to be near him. Like a switch had been flipped and now I was on another side of life. The side where there was a tree-sized bodyguard in my presence and my very being just instinctively needed to be near him.

Right near him. And his deep voice. And muscles. And ink. And oh my fucking God, I needed to rein it in.

Shaking my head again, I tried to dispel my traitorous thoughts and focus on what was in the fridge.

“Problem?”

I fought a shiver at the dominance in his voice. “Yeah.” Him. And how good his body heat felt radiating down my back like he was close enough to put his arms around me. “There’s nothing good,” I lied.

“It’s fucking stocked, woman.” Grabbing my waist, he picked me up, spun and deposited me behind him. “Get your ass out of the way, princess. Go sit.”

Woman.

Princess.

Yeah. I was in trouble.

Older men were my kryptonite. They always had been. Daddy issues, yay me. I didn’t make any excuses for it, but Shade whatever-his-last-name-was bodyguard was checking off a list even I hadn’t known I had, and I’d had my head shrunk by the best shrinks in the state.

Except the fucker had called me a teenager.

Perching on one of the kitchen stools, I stared at my new obsession. His wide shoulders, ripped biceps and narrow hips were all on display as he pulled shit out of the fridge like he was going to cook a five-course meal.

A guy. Cooking for me.

I smirked.

Kicking the fridge closed with his boot that had to be a size fourteen and dumping shit on the counter, he spared me a glance. “What’s wrong now?”

“Did you seriously ask me if my double Ds were real?” I crossed my arms. Under my braless wonders.

Just like I wanted them to, his dark eyes cut to my chest. “Yep.”

“That’s insulting.” I grew these all on my own.

“You’re small as fuck. Your tits are huge.” He lifted one shoulder like we weren’t having a totally inappropriate, unprofessional conversation between a client and a bodyguard.

“Are you a breast man?” I could practically feel his mouth on me. The thought alone made my pussy clench so hard, I almost reached for the counter to steady myself.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He spared me a glance and winked as the corner of his mouth tipped up.

“Cocky much?” That wink, the almost smile, I hated to admit how hot he was—in a rough, crude, give zero fucks, screw you all night and forget your name by morning sort of way. “Hope that works out for you.”

“Hasn’t failed me yet.” His almost smile turned up to panty melting.

My heart faltered, then stalled completely.

Until that exact moment, I never knew a man who was so dominant, who reeked of bad decisions made too late at night, could be that heart-stoppingly gorgeous.

His smile transformed his whole face.

The